Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being - Blogs

Find Your Tribe!

Fri, 01 May 2026 11:37:49 GMT

Find Your Tribe!

I love this video.
It shows one guy at a festival dancing on his own.
Full of joy, confidence and complete freedom. Maybe helped by a few beers ��
Slowly, one person joins him. Then another. Before long, there is a whole group dancing together. I love it. It always makes me smile, because it captures something deeply human.

When I was young, I just wanted to fit in, so I hid and changed the parts of me that felt different.
I thought confidence came from blending in and following everyone else.

What I learned is that confidence comes from being yourself and discovering there are others just like you.
Finding your tribe is less about following the crowd and more about feeling safe with like‑minded people.
• The people you feel at home with.
• The ones who let you speak without editing yourself.
• The ones who do not flinch at your honesty, your emotion, your weirdness.

When you find them, something settles. Your shoulders drop. Your breathing slows. You realise you do not need to perform to be accepted.

For me, embracing my own weirdness was the first step. I have written before about how life‑changing that process was. When I stopped holding back, the right people moved closer. Others moved away, and that was okay.
Some tribes are temporary. Some are lifelong. We can belong to more than one.

It is also important to say this. Not every group that looks like a tribe is healthy. Some are closed, cliquey, or unsettled by difference. Some can even feel unsafe in how they judge or treat others. If you find yourself shrinking, self‑doubting, feeling judged, or uneasy about behaviours or attitudes, pay attention. You can try to integrate with kindness. And you can also choose to move on and keep looking.

Finding your tribe can be deeply life‑affirming. It can change how you see yourself and how safe the world feels.

So take a moment.

Look at yourself and what makes you, you.

Ask yourself, who is my tribe? And if you have not found them yet, go and look.

One important thing to note. Try not to judge those who are different from you. They may simply belong to a different tribe.

If this resonates, I would love to hear from you.

Who is your tribe?

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

 NOTE: Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

#cedartreemhw #FindYourTribe #MentalHealth #Wellbeing #Belonging #Authenticity #EmbraceYourWeirdness

Stress Awareness Month

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 16:03:43 GMT

Stress Awareness Month: When Pressure Helps Us Grow and When It Holds Us Back

April is Stress Awareness Month and it gives us a chance to pause and ask an important question.

Is stress working for us or against us?

We often talk about stress as something to eliminate, but some stress is normal and even helpful. Deadlines sharpen focus. Challenges stretch capability. New roles push growth. In these moments, stress can be a positive driver.

The problem begins when stress stops being short term and becomes constant, quietly affecting our health, behaviour, relationships and performance at work.

A Story Many Will Recognise

Years ago, I worked with a manager I will call Mark. He was capable, respected and deeply committed. Always the first online and the last to switch off. When the business went through rapid change, Mark stepped up, took on more responsibility and absorbed the pressure.

At first, it looked like resilience.

Over time, things changed. He became quieter in meetings. Emails grew abrupt. Small issues triggered big reactions. He took fewer breaks and more sick days, while insisting he was fine.

Mark did not see this as stress. Just part of the job.

That is often how workplace stress hides, not as crisis, but as slow erosion.

When Stress Becomes a Business Issue

Stress does not always look like overwhelm. It often shows up as fatigue, irritability, withdrawal or reduced focus. In teams, it appears as mistakes, disengagement and presenteeism.

When stress goes unmanaged, businesses feel the impact through reduced productivity, higher absence, increased turnover and the quiet loss of talented people.

Stress awareness is not about removing all pressure. It is about designing work that challenges people without harming them, and acting early rather than reacting late.

A Final Thought

Eventually, someone asked Mark a simple question.

“How are you?”

That conversation opened the door. Adjustments were made, expectations clarified and recovery allowed. When Mark returned, he did not just perform better. He led better.

Stress is not the enemy. Unnoticed, unspoken and unmanaged stress is.

This Stress Awareness Month, noticing sooner and talking earlier may be the most impactful action we take.

Healthy pressure can drive growth. Unchecked stress takes it away.

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

 NOTE: Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

#cedartreemhw #StressAwarenessMonth #MentalHealthAtWork #WorkplaceWellbeing #Leadership #HealthyWorkplaces

Your Job Is Not to Change the World…

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 12:17:23 GMT

Your Job Is Not to Change the World… Your Job Is to Change Someone’s World

There’s a quote I keep coming back to lately:
“Your job is not to change the world..... Your job is to change someone’s world.”

It hits me because, if I’m honest, I often get overwhelmed by what’s happening out there. The news cycle feels relentless. Every headline seems heavier than the last. Wars, disasters, political chaos, suffering everywhere you look. It’s hard not to absorb it. It’s hard not to feel like the world is spiralling and I should be doing something.... anything.... to fix it.

And yet, that pressure to “change the world” can be paralysing.
I want to make a difference. I want to help. I want to be part of the solution.
But the problems feel so big, so complex, so far beyond my reach that I end up doing… nothing.
Not because I don’t care, but because I care so much that I don’t know where to start.

That’s why this quote matters. It reminds me that maybe I’ve been aiming at the wrong target. Maybe the goal isn’t to fix everything everywhere. Maybe the goal is to show up for one person, in one moment, in one small but meaningful way.

It reminds me of the story of the young lad walking along the beach after a storm. Thousands of starfish were stranded on the sand, drying out in the sun. One by one, he picked them up and threw them back into the sea.

A man approached him and said,
“Why are you bothering? There are thousands of starfish here. You’ll never save them all. You can’t possibly make a difference.”

The boy picked up another starfish, tossed it gently into the waves, and replied,
“It made a difference to that one.”

That’s it. That’s the whole point. We don’t need to save the world. We just need to help/save/change someone’s world, one conversation, one act of kindness, one moment of presence at a time.

When I remember that, the overwhelming feelings soften. The noise quiets. The impossible becomes possible again. Because helping one person? I can do that. You can do that. We all can.

And if enough of us change someone’s world, maybe, just maybe, the world changes after all.

This isn’t just true in our personal lives. It’s just as important in the workplace, how we show up for colleagues, how we lead, how we listen, how we support. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, a teammate, or someone in the community, the impact of one moment of care can ripple far beyond what we see.

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

 NOTE: Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

#cedartreemhw #MentalHealthMatters #KindnessCounts #ChangeOneLife #WorkplaceWellbeing #CommunityCare #SmallActsBigImpact #TrueLeadership #HopeInAction

Taking care of yourself and others during the Festive Season

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 12:52:34 GMT

Taking care of yourself and others during the Festive Season

Hi there,

I don’t know about you, but I find this time of year particularly challenging.

Whether it’s Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or lingering feelings from past Christmases, I often wake up with deep sadness, dread, and anxiety. Over the years, I’ve learned ways to manage these emotions and get through them. By the time I get to work, I’m usually feeling much better.

So, the festive season is here, and while it’s a time of joy and celebration, it can also be pretty stressful and overwhelming. For many of us, it can be a particularly tough period. So, let’s make sure we’re looking after ours and others mental health and wellbeing during this busy time:

Don’t feel pressured to attend every event or meet every expectation. Make sure to carve out moments for self-care and time to yourself. Whether it’s a quiet walk, reading a book, or just relaxing, ensure you have time to recharge.

Acknowledge Your Feelings - It’s totally okay to feel sad, lonely, or stressed right now. Recognising our emotions is the first step towards managing them.

Stay Connected - Reach out to friends and family, even if it’s just a quick call or message. Social connections can provide much-needed support.

Seek Support if Needed - If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. See below for links to UK organisations that can help.

And most importantly, let’s look out for others who might be struggling right now. A small gesture, like checking in on someone or offering a listening ear, can make a big difference.

Take care of yourselves and each other this Christmas.

Wishing you all a supportive and understanding festive season!

Graham Foxwell

Places of support in the UK:

NHS urgent mental health support for immediate help via NHS 111 and local mental health services.
Mind for information, listening services and local support options.
Samaritans for 24/7 confidential listening support.
Shout text crisis support available 24/7 by texting SHOUT to 85258.
Hub of Hope national directory to find local mental health charities and services.
CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) offering support for anyone struggling, with a helpline and webchat open daily from 5pm to midnight.

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

 NOTE: Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

#MentalHealth #WinterWellbeing #ReachOut #MentalHealthAwareness #SeasonalAffectiveDisorder #SelfCare #MentalHealthMatters #Cedartreemhw

Winter is coming!

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 10:46:30 GMT

Winter is coming!

Winter is here and you can feel the change in the air: the nights are drawing in and many of us start to naturally hunker down.

For some that shift is cosy and replenishing. For others it brings loneliness, low energy and heavier moods.

Over the next couple of minutes I want to share a few simple, ways to check in with yourself, notice when someone else might be struggling, and what to say or do that can actually help.

How the season can affect us

Shorter days and colder weather don’t just mean thicker coats. They nudge our sleep, our energy, our appetite and our motivation out of their usual rhythm. For some people it’s barely noticeable. For others those changes make anxiety, low mood or seasonal shifts difficult.

However, this is all a normal human response. The useful thing is spotting it early so we can be kinder to ourselves and take small, practical steps to look after our mental health at home, with friends and at work.

What to notice in yourself

Sleep changes : sleeping a lot more or a lot less than usual.
Loss of interest : things you used to enjoy feel flat or dull.
Low energy and poor focus : struggling to concentrate or finish tasks.
Eating changes : big shifts in appetite or weight.
Irritability or tearfulness : small things tipping you over or feeling numb.
Pulling away : cancelling plans, avoiding people, staying in more than usual.
Negative thoughts : feeling like things won’t get better or thinking you can’t cope.

| If a couple of these show up for a few days, do a quick check, in with yourself. If they’re still there after two weeks or feel intense, reach out for support.

What to notice in others

They go quiet : someone who usually replies quickly stops answering or cancels plans.
Odd behaviour : more forgetful, distracted or agitated than usual.
Mood changes : more withdrawn, tearful or easily snappy.
Self,care slipping : not eating, not showering or letting daily tasks slide.
Saying they’re a burden or hopeless : take those words seriously.

| Trust your gut, you don’t need to be a Dr to notice a change that matters.

How to reach out

Start simple : “Hi, I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately how are you?”
Be specific : point to what you’ve noticed, for example “You missed our walk twice this week, are you OK?”
Listen without fixing : let them talk and reflect back what you hear. “I'm sorry to hear you are going through this , that sounds really tough.”
Offer practical, small things : a short walk, a coffee, or sitting with them for ten minutes.
Follow up : check in again. Small, steady contact matters more than a single conversation.
Respect boundaries : if they’re not ready, say you’ll check in again soon and do it!

| If someone talks about harming themselves or seems in immediate danger, stay with them if you can and get urgent help.

How to ask for help

Say it out loud : telling one person “I’ve been struggling” takes some weight off.
Pick someone you trust : a friend, family member, colleague or community group.
Be clear about what you need : “I need someone to listen” or “Can you help me book an appointment?”
Take tiny steps : if calling a helpline feels huge, ask someone to do it with you or for you.

| Most people feel better with the right support and small changes add up.

Three simple actions for this winter

Notice : do a quick check, in with yourself each week.
Reach out : name what you see and offer steady company.
Act : if someone is at risk, get help right away.

Today is a nudge to treat mental health as important, just like physical health. If you liked this, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Take care of yourself and those around you.

Six places of support in the UK:

NHS urgent mental health support for immediate help via NHS 111 and local mental health services.
Mind for information, listening services and local support options.
Samaritans for 24/7 confidential listening support.
Shout text crisis support available 24/7 by texting SHOUT to 85258.
Hub of Hope national directory to find local mental health charities and services.
CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) offering support for anyone struggling, with a helpline and webchat open daily from 5pm to midnight.

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

 NOTE: Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

#WorldMentalHealthDay #MentalHealth #WinterWellbeing #ReachOut #MentalHealthAwareness #SeasonalAffectiveDisorder #SelfCare #MentalHealthMatters #Cedartreemhw

Behind Every Person You meet, There’s a Story….

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 12:59:52 GMT

I came across a post recently that stopped me in my tracks, about how easily we misread people. It reminded me of just how quick we are to form lasting impressions… without truly knowing what someone might be living through.

There are traits I recognise in myself, traits that, from the outside, could be confusing, contradictory, or even off-putting: Do any resonate with you?

I appear confident but question myself constantly.
I’m patient but often come across as stubborn.
I care deeply but can come across as distant.
I’m naturally empathetic, yet I sometimes need to keep people at arm’s length.
I speak up for others’ needs yet sometimes can’t respond through feeling overwhelmed.
I light up around people and love a good party, but I also need time alone, and worry I’ll miss something when I step away.
I’m calm in crisis, but anxious everyday.
I have emotional intelligence yet find it hard to recognise and regulate my reactions.
I want to be different and not follow the crowd, but quietly fear being misread or misunderstood. ( Maybe one of the reasons for writing this blog! ).
I’m well educated and understand mental health deeply, yet struggle sometimes to manage my own emotional wellbeing.
I may come across distant and sad, when I’m actually fine and just need space and time with my thoughts.

There are many more and I’m sure you can add many of your own.

It’s complicated

Sometimes we wear a mask to get through the day, and most people never see what’s underneath.

The Neurodiversity layer

Being neurodiverse adds an extra layer of complexity to how I and other are perceived.

It shapes the way I experience the world and the way others experience me - my timing, my tone, my habits. The result? Misunderstandings. Assumptions. Judgements. And sadly, missed connections with people who might otherwise see the real me.

Judgement is human

It’s wired into us, evolved over thousands of years as a way to stay safe. When we meet someone new, our brains instantly scan for signals: safe or unsafe? Same or unfamiliar?

But this built-in protection mechanism can also become a barrier. We can be quick to label. Quick to withdraw. Quick to misunderstand those who don't walk, talk, look, think, react, behave, believe, understand or have the same values as us. There’s always more happening beneath the surface.

In Conclusion - Be Kind

So let’s slow down. Let’s get curious instead of critical.

Let’s welcome people who don’t walk our walk, because what shaped them might be something we’ve never had to face.

Let’s show kindness. Exercise patience. Extend grace. And build the kind of world we’d all feel safe being seen in.

Thanks for reading, I'd truly love to hear your thoughts. If this resonates, feel free to share, comment, or start a conversation.

Graham

NOTE : Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

#Neurodiversity #InclusionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #Misunderstood #CompassionOverJudgement #KindnessFirst #EmotionalIntelligence #InvisibleStruggles #Authenticity #UnderstandingPeople #WalkAndTalk #BeTheDifference #EmpathyInAction #HumanConnection

Counteracting Toxic Masculinity: Empowering the Next Generation of Positive Men

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 12:12:01 GMT

Growing up, like many boys of my age, I was desperate to belong, and easily got caught up with the popular guys at school. My teenage years were a real struggle....

When I was about 11 years old, my life changed drastically. My parents separated, my sister left home, and my mum moved back to London to live with her parents, an hour away. I stayed with my dad, but our relationship was strained. He was grappling with his own struggles—alcohol, divorce, and mental health challenges, and eventually suffered a complete mental breakdown, leaving me to take on the role of his carer.

Even without the internet to amplify negativity, I still encountered influences that led me astray. I spent time with a group of lads whose behavior was far from ideal. Their version of masculinity, shaped by the late ’70s and early ’80s, was deeply toxic, and I found myself swept up in that destructive mindset.School wasn’t much better. I struggled academically and believed I was simply “thick.” It wasn’t until later that I learned I was dyslexic. The school system back then didn’t understand or accommodate this, but I eventually discovered that I was intelligent.... just in a different way!

Then, everything shifted. A youth worker, about ten years older than me, took me aside for a heartfelt, honest conversation. He offered me a choice: stay on the same destructive path or take a new direction filled with genuine guidance and support. It wasn't an easy decision, as I knew leaving my group of friends would invite bullying, but his words deeply resonated with me. I chose the better path, and that youth worker became one of my closest friends, a connection that lasted until his passing last year.

That pivotal moment has stayed with me and fuelled my passion for challenging toxic masculinity. Today, I’m committed to fostering a healthier, more inclusive perspective on masculinity and empowering the next generation to embrace positive change.

In our digital era, harmful ideas about what it means to be a man are seeping into the very spaces where young boys shape their identities. Toxic masculinity and the pervasive influence of the manosphere aren’t just abstract concepts, they actively mould how boys perceive strength, emotion, and relationships.

Instead of learning that true manhood embraces empathy, accountability, and inclusivity alongside strength, many are bombarded with messages that prioritise aggression and dominance, dismissing the power of vulnerability. This warped view of manhood carries serious consequences. It can spark mental health struggles, stunt the growth of meaningful relationships, and even deepen societal divisions. The impact goes far beyond the individual, it ripples through families, schools, and communities, slowly unravelling the social fabric that binds us together.

Given these pressing challenges, it’s clear we need to act now. By dismantling these harmful narratives and promoting a compassionate, inclusive model of masculinity, we can empower young boys to grow into positive contributors to society. This transformation calls for a united effort, a collaboration among educators, parents, community leaders, and digital platforms, to reshape the narrative around manhood and create a safer, healthier environment for future generations.

I believe these fall in to a multi-pronged approach to promoting positive masculinity. However, please feel free to challenge, add or agree with this.

A Multi-Pronged Approach to Positive Masculinity

1. Revamp Education and Media Literacy

Integrate an Inclusive Curriculum : Schools should weave lessons on emotional intelligence, gender equality, and critical thinking into everyday learning. By unpacking the complexities of human emotions and relationships, young people can develop well-rounded perspectives that challenge outdated stereotypes.

Teach Media Literacy : Equipping students with the skills to critically assess online messages helps them spot and reject harmful content. By understanding extremist rhetoric and recognising biases in digital media, young boys can form their own informed opinions rather than simply absorbing toxic narratives.

2. Cultivate Positive Role Models and Mentorship

Showcase Positive Masculinity : Celebrating figures who embody empathetic, inclusive, and responsible manhood, such as Sir Gareth Southgate , Mo Farah , Idris Elba , and Marcus Rashford , or even local community heroes, gives young men tangible examples of true strength. These role models demonstrate that emotional openness, humility, and compassion are the hallmarks of positive leadership.

Support Mentorship Programs : Establishing mentorship channels in schools, community organisations, or sports clubs connects young men with adults who live out healthy, respectful behaviours. These mentors provide guidance and create safe spaces, proving that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

3. Strengthen Family and Community Bonds

Encourage Open Dialogue : Families are our first and most influential teachers. When parents engage in genuine, judgment-free conversations about todays challenges, discussing everything from toxic masculinity to radical influences, they help shape resilient, respectful, and self-aware individuals.

Develop Community Programs : Community centres and local clubs can host activities that promote teamwork, creativity, and compassion. These safe spaces offer young people genuine connection and build a network of support that reinforces positive ideas about manhood and identity.

4. Reform Digital Spaces and Public Discourse

Hold Platforms Accountable : Social media companies must step up by moderating harmful content and fine-tuning algorithms that boost extremist messages. By reducing exposure to toxic narratives, digital spaces can become hubs for positive, constructive exchanges.

Promote Alternative Narratives : Public campaigns and community outreach that celebrate accountability, respect, and collaboration help reshape cultural discourse. These narratives remind us that true strength lies in personal growth, mutual support, and a willingness to learn from one another, not in dominance or aggression.

5. Prioritise Mental Health and Well-Being

Provide Accessible Support : Destigmatising mental health, especially for young men, is essential. Schools, communities, and workplaces should offer accessible counselling and support services to ensure anyone grappling with identity or pressure can find timely help.

Emphasise Resilience and Self-Care : Teaching young people that true resilience means seeking help, reflecting honestly, and building healthy coping strategies can transform lives. A focus on self-care and mindfulness is crucial to counterbalancing the pressure to conform to outdated masculine ideals.

In Conclusion

It is a well know fact that even a single trusted adult in a child's life can mitigate the impact of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and curb the onset of poor mental health later, all while nurturing positive masculinity. I stand as living proof of this transformative influence.

Transforming our cultural view of masculinity starts with empowering young boys to define strength on their own terms.

By investing in education, mentorship, family support, digital reform, and mental health resources, we can steer our communities toward a future where men are celebrated for their empathy, resilience, and capacity to nurture healthy relationships.

So my question is - How can you contribute through your workplace, community, or personal networks to foster a balanced, positive understanding of manhood?

Lets work together to build an inclusive future where positive masculinity thrives.

NOTE : Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

#PositiveMasculinitynbsp; #Empowermentnbsp; #InclusiveLeadershipnbsp; #RoleModelsnbsp; #DigitalReformnbsp; #MediaLiteracynbsp; #MentalHealthMattersnbsp; #CommunitySupportnbsp; #EducationForAllnbsp; #BreakTheCycle #Cedartreemhw

Accepting and Embracing Our Weirdness: Celebrating Our True Selves, Warts and All

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 09:49:56 GMT

In a society that incessantly pressures us to fit into tidy boxes of conformity, daring to celebrate our unique quirks becomes a revolutionary act. Our eccentricities and imperfections are not defects; they are the colourful threads interwoven to create the rich tapestry of our lives. Imagine your personality as an extraordinary masterpiece painted in bold, authentic hues that defy uniformity. By honouring every aspect of who you are, even those parts once dismissed as flaws, you spark a resilient spirit that not only liberates you but also lights the way for others to live authentically. Each unapologetic step toward self-acceptance adds an irreplaceable brushstroke to a canvas uniquely yours, transforming everyday existence into a work of art.

Kintsugi: Embracing Beauty in Brokenness

Let’s begin with the visualisation of a concept called Kintsugi. What is that, you ask? Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending its fractures with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. Instead of disguising the damage, this beautiful practice accentuates the cracks—turning what was once seen as broken into a symbol of beauty and resilience. In our modern lives, we often strive to conceal mistakes, struggles, and imperfections in an effort to present only our best sides. Yet, what if we viewed our most challenging moments as opportunities to reinforce ourselves with newfound strength, much like precious gold fills the cracks in shattered pottery? This art invites us to see every break as an integral part of our unique beauty and narrative.

The Unseen Struggles: Imposter Syndrome and the Masks We Wear

For many of us, the journey toward self-acceptance is shadowed by the persistent uncertainty of imposter syndrome, the inner critic that insists our achievements are nothing more than strokes of luck and that our true, imperfect selves are only a heartbeat away from exposure. In response, we craft and wear masks that shield us from judgment and help us navigate a world that often seems unkind. While these facades can provide temporary relief, clinging to them may trap us in cycles of self-doubt and isolation.

On a personal note....

This is a journey I have been on—and one that I am still walking every day. There was a time when crippling anxiety would prevent me from even stepping through the door of my workplace, and every morning felt like a battle against the crushing belief that the world thought I was a fool. A persistent, harsh voice questioned my worth, urging me to wonder why I was even bothering. Through the long, challenging process of self-discovery and acceptance, I transformed that inner narrative into one of resilience and strength. I am undoubtedly a different person today—living proof of the liberating power of embracing vulnerability. I promise to share more about how I accomplished this transformation another day, when the time feels right.

This journey taught me that unmasking isn’t about a sudden, all-or-nothing shedding of every layer; it is a gradual, deliberate process supported by effective strategies and self-compassion. Often, we hide behind our protective facades, fearing the dramatic exposure of our authentic selves in an unforgiving world. Yet, each time we lower our guard ever so slightly, we create space for deeper, more genuine connections, with others and with our innermost being. Striking the delicate balance between necessary protection and courageous self-revelation is key to lasting self-acceptance.

Seeking professional guidance through Counselling, Coaching, and Training

Every step you take toward honouring your true self is a profound act of courage and growth. Navigating the complex emotions of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and the journey to uncover your authentic identity can be deeply personal and, at times, overwhelming. Seeking professional guidance can provide the support and expertise needed to embrace these challenges and foster transformative healing and growth.

With a compassionate and individualised approach, trained professionals can guide you through moments of introspection and personal development. Whether you're beginning to peel away the layers of uncertainty or continuing on a well-established path toward self-discovery, professional support can help you build resilience and unlock the potential lying dormant within. By implementing strategies that encourage self-empowerment and care, you can reshape your internal narrative from one of doubt to one of strength, authenticity, and confidence.

For additional resources and expert care, consider reaching out to us at Cedar tree or a local counselling services or mental health organisations that can help prioritise your journey toward wholeness and well-being.

Conclusion

In conclusion, embracing our weirdness is a transformative act of rebellion against the pressure to conform. When we allow our quirks, vulnerabilities, and even our broken parts to show, we create a masterpiece that is uniquely our own—one that resonates with the authenticity of every golden crack. Much like the art of Kintsugi, every challenge and every moment of self-doubt can be reimagined as a powerful opportunity to mend and redefine our story.

By gradually shedding our protective masks and accepting even the parts we once deemed imperfect, we not only empower ourselves but also light the way for others seeking the courage to be real. Moreover, seeking professional guidance through counselling, coaching, or training can provide the essential support needed on this journey, helping us turn our struggles into stepping stones towards genuine self-discovery and lasting well-being.

NOTE : Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

#SelfAcceptance #EmbraceYourWeirdness #Authenticity #BeYourself #Kintsugi #MentalHealthMatters #OvercomingAnxiety #ImposterSyndrome #PersonalGrowth #Cedartreemhw

Vulnerability & Steadfast Strength: Are They Two Competing Forces?

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 12:39:46 GMT

Welcome, everyone. Today, I want to explore two powerful forces that shape our mental health and ask, “ are they mutually exclusive? ” I believe the answer is a resounding “ no. ”

On one hand, we have the courage to be vulnerable and open about our emotions. On the other hand, we have the drive to push ourselves beyond our limits. Society often sends messages that tell us to be stoic and silent— “ Be strong and silent ”, “ Toughen up ”, “ Don’t show weakness . ” These statements can keep us from sharing our struggles—but we know that true strength also comes from openness and the willingness to overcome our challenges.

John's Story: A Journey from Isolation to Connection .

Let me share a story about a close friend—let’s call him John. John's experience is a poignant reminder of the silent battles many face. After losing his job, John felt a profound sense of failure and isolation. The pressure to maintain his composed exterior became overwhelming, and he began to withdraw from social interactions. His nights were plagued by insomnia, and his days were filled with a relentless sense of hopelessness. The once vibrant and confident John now found himself spiralling into a deep depression.

As the weeks turned into months, John's mental health deteriorated further. He started experiencing suicidal thoughts, feeling that his existence was a burden to those around him. The stigma attached to seeking help only intensified his struggle, making him believe that admitting his pain would be seen as a sign of weakness.

It wasn't until we noticed the drastic change in John's behaviour and reached out that things began to shift. With encouragement, John finally opened up about his feelings. This act of vulnerability was a turning point. Friends rallied around him, offering support and understanding. This helped him seek professional help, and slowly, John began to see a glimmer of hope.

John's journey to recovery was not easy, but it was a testament to the power of connection and the importance of breaking the silence around mental health. By sharing his story, John not only reclaimed his strength but also inspired others to seek help and embrace their own vulnerabilities.

A New Understanding of Strength

Recognise that true strength isn't about hiding or bottling up our emotions; it’s about having the courage to be open, honest, and vulnerable. By sharing our inner struggles, we lay the foundation for genuine connections and healing.

The Silent Battle: Overcoming the Stigma of Sharing

For many years, messages like “man up” and “don’t show weakness” have been ingrained in our culture. This can lead to isolation when facing tough times.

The Call to Action: Pushing Past Limits and Cultivating Resilience

While it’s essential to share our feelings, it’s equally vital to find the inner drive to move forward despite adversity. Think of your journey as a two-step process: first, opening up to acknowledge pain, and second, using that honesty to fuel the perseverance needed to overcome challenges.

Angela Duckworth’s research on grit shows us that perseverance—continuously pushing forward despite setbacks—is a critical ingredient for success in life. In her words, grit is what keeps you moving when the path gets steep.

Carol Dweck’s work on having a growth mindset teaches us that challenges are not dead ends but opportunities to learn and adapt. When we see obstacles this way, each barrier becomes a stepping stone on our road to strength.

Understanding When to Push and When to Pause

It's crucial to understand when to push on and strive forward with all your might and when to stop, reflect, be vulnerable, and tend to your wounds. Pushing forward is essential for growth and achievement but knowing when to pause and take care of your mental and emotional well-being is equally important. This balance ensures that you don't burn out and can continue to move forward with renewed strength and clarity.

This balance is mostly achieved through connection with others—seeking support and counsel from friends, family, and sometimes professional help. When we connect with others, we gain different perspectives, emotional support, and practical advice that can help us navigate our challenges more effectively. It's through these connections that we can find the strength to push forward when needed and the wisdom to pause and heal when necessary.

Recognising the signs of when to push and when to pause is a skill that can be developed over time. It involves being in tune with your body and mind, understanding your limits, and being honest with yourself about your needs. When you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally drained, it might be a signal to take a step back, reflect, and seek support. On the other hand, when you feel motivated, energised, and focused, it might be the right time to push forward and strive towards your goals.

By integrating both pushing forward and pausing into your life, you create a sustainable approach to personal growth and well-being. This approach allows you to achieve your goals while maintaining your mental and emotional health, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Takeaway

Reflect and Discuss:

Self-Reflection : Think about a recent time when you felt overwhelmed. What held you back from reaching out to someone?

Reframing Strength : How might embracing vulnerability be a sign of strength rather than weakness?

Small Changes for Big Impact : What is one small action you can take today to share your feelings—whether it’s a conversation with a friend, writing in a journal, or joining a support group?

What challenges do you face in expressing your emotions?

Can you share a personal experience where opening up led to unexpected support or positive change

Think about practical strategies to integrate vulnerability into your day-to-day life. Perhaps start a “feelings check-in” with a close friend or relative once a week.

Conclusion:

Our journey towards better mental health is not about choosing between being open and being resilient—it is about weaving these aspects together. By speaking our truths and embracing our emotions, we create the strength needed to overcome any challenge life throws at us.

Thank you for being part of this conversation today. I look forward to hearing your stories and ideas. Let’s move forward together, owning both our vulnerabilities and our unyielding strength.

NOTE : Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

#MentalHealth #Vulnerability #Strength #Resilience #OvercomingStigma #Connection #PersonalGrowth #Grit #GrowthMindset #EmotionalWellbeing #SupportSystem #HealingJourney #Inspiration #MentalHealthAwareness #Cedartreemhw

Discovering Life's Journey: Finding Fulfilment Beyond Happiness

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 18:15:49 GMT

Recently, I had the opportunity to give a short talk during a “time to Talk” session at work. It was a wonderful experience, and I wanted to share that conversation here with you.

Have you ever paused to ask yourself, " What emotion or feeling would I like to have all the time? " For many of us, the answer might be " happiness ." We often think, " If I could just be happy all the time, life would be perfec t." But is that really the case?

Let me share a personal insight. I've come to realise that striving to be happy all the time isn't as fulfilling as it sounds. Happiness is often a fleeting emotion, tied to specific experiences or outcomes. " If I get this job, I'll be happy. " " If I buy those new shoes, I'll be happy. " But what happens when things don't go as planned? We end up feeling disappointed and unhappy.

If I this happens I will be happy, if I doesn’t, I won’t.

Happiness demands an outcome; it's reliant on a result. And the truth is, it's not sustainable to be "always happy." Life is unpredictable, and things don't always go the way we want them to. When we tie our happiness to specific outcomes, we set ourselves up for disappointment.

But there's another emotion that's more enduring and fulfilling: joy. Joy is different from happiness. It's not a response to a particular experience or result. Instead, joy is a constant, a deep-seated feeling that comes from within. It's about finding contentment and peace in the journey, regardless of the ups and downs.

I touched upon this in my blog "Dare to Hope," where I shared a difficult time in my life. During that period, I learned to let go of the desire to be safe and trouble-free. It was then that hope set in, and real healing began. I found peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

If you're relentlessly pursuing happiness, I'm sorry to say that you might end up feeling let down. But if you seek joy, you'll find a more consistent and fulfilling emotion. Joy is about doing what we were made to do, no matter the circumstances. It's about enjoying life and finding meaning in the everyday moments.

We all have negative thoughts, especially when life gets tough. It's normal. But it's what we do with those thoughts that makes a difference. Negative thinking can lead to a downward spiral, affecting our mental health and overall well-being. But with awareness and self-compassion, we can redirect our thoughts to more positive ones.

There are many effective therapies out there, like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), mindfulness, counselling, and even medication for those experiencing mental health challenges. If you're struggling, please seek help from a professional. I'm also here to offer support and direction if you need it.

So, how can we cultivate joy, even when life is tough? One way is through gratitude. Start by making a list of things you're thankful for—the simple things, like the town you live in, the roof over your head, the friends and family you have, the freedom you enjoy, and the food and water you have easy access to. It's amazing what a simple habit like this can do. Repeat it over and over again – each morning or evening when driving to or from work.

Gratitude

Have you heard of the story of the two wolves?

An old man tells his grandson about a fight going on inside him between two wolves—one evil and one good. The grandson asks, "Which wolf will win?" The old man replies, "The one you feed."

We need to stop feeding the negative wolf and start feeding the positive one with joy, peace, love, hope, and gratitude.

Let's focus on the good in our lives and push the bad to one side. It's not about denying our failures but learning from them and focusing on what we can improve. By doing this, we can cultivate joy and live a more fulfilling life.

We have choices. We can approach life with a positive attitude or a negative, defeated one. If you allow it, today can be a day of change—a day to embrace joy and find meaning in the journey.

If you're struggling with your mental health or finding it hard to cultivate joy, please reach out for help. Talk to a professional, a friend, or a family member. You don't have to go through this alone.

Let's support each other in finding joy and living a more fulfilling life.

NOTE : Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

#MentalHealth #Wellbeing #Joy #Happiness #PersonalGrowth #Mindfulness #Gratitude #SelfCare #PositiveThinking #MentalHealthAwareness

Embracing the Power of Diversity!

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 12:59:04 GMT

Despite progress, societal acceptance remains a steep uphill journey—In today's fast-paced world, where individualism and conformity often clash, understanding and accepting the differences in others' mental health, wellbeing, life choices, or neurodiversity can be a difficult and challenging for some people.

Understanding the Struggle

The core of the issue lies in our discomfort with the unfamiliar. Mental health issues, variations in wellbeing, and neurodiversity are often invisible to the naked eye, making them easier to dismiss. Our brains are wired to seek patterns and familiarity, but when faced with behaviours or ways of thinking that deviate from the norm, cognitive conflict sets in. This discomfort can lead to judgment, stigmatisation, and even fear.

Mental Health: Breaking the Silence

Mental health struggles can be particularly challenging to accept because they disrupt the expected narrative of how we think life should unfold. Anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, Personality Disorder and other conditions can significantly impact an individual's behaviour, making them seem unpredictable or unreliable to those who don't understand. The stigma surrounding mental health often silences those suffering, perpetuating a cycle of misunderstanding and isolation.

Wellbeing: The Subjective Spectrum

Wellbeing is a deeply personal and subjective experience. What brings peace and happiness to one person may not resonate with another. Yet, societal pressures often dictate a one-size-fits-all approach to wellbeing, leaving those who diverge feeling alienated. The difficulty in accepting others' unique paths to wellbeing stems from a lack of empathy and the mistaken belief that there is a universal formula for a good life.

Neurodiversity: Valuing Different Perspectives

Neurodiversity encompasses a range of conditions, including ASD, ADHD, dyslexia, and many more. These differences in neurological functioning can lead to unique perspectives and abilities. However, society's emphasis on conformity can make it hard to appreciate these differences. The education system, workplaces, and social norms often fail to accommodate neurodiverse individuals, forcing them to adapt to environments that are not designed for their needs.

Emma’s Story continues….. One evening, after a particularly difficult day at work, Emma attended a mental health support workshop at a local community centre. The workshop was led by a compassionate therapist named Alex, who spoke openly about his own experiences with bipolar disorder. His honesty and vulnerability resonated deeply with Emma, inspiring her to attend more sessions and gradually share her own struggles.

Through these workshops, Emma met people from all walks of life—some dealing with Stress, others with Depression, and some simply seeking ways to improve their overall wellbeing. She found solace in their stories and began to understand the importance of acceptance and empathy. Emma realised that her own discomfort with her mental health issues was rooted in societal stigma and a lack of understanding.

Over time, Emma's newfound perspective transformed her relationships and outlook on life. She became an advocate for mental health awareness, speaking at events and sharing her story to break down barriers and foster understanding. Emma's workplace also embraced change, implementing mental health support programs and creating a more inclusive environment for employees.

Steps Towards Acceptance

Education and Awareness:

The first step in overcoming the difficulty of accepting differences is education. Understanding the nuances of mental health, wellbeing, and neurodiversity can dispel myths and reduce stigma. Schools, workplaces, and communities should prioritise awareness campaigns and training programs.

Empathy and Compassion:

Cultivating empathy is crucial. By listening to others' experiences without judgment, we can foster a more inclusive and supportive environment. Compassion involves recognising the shared humanity in everyone, regardless of their differences.

Inclusive Practices:

Creating inclusive spaces is essential. This means designing environments—whether physical, social, or digital—that cater to diverse needs. Employers, educators, and policymakers should strive to implement practices that accommodate all individuals.

Challenging Stigma:

Speaking out against stigma and discrimination is vital. By challenging negative stereotypes and advocating for those who are marginalised, we can create a culture of acceptance and respect.

Personal Reflection:

Finally, it is important to reflect on our own biases and prejudices. Understanding our reactions to others' differences and actively working to change them can lead to more meaningful connections and a deeper appreciation of diversity.

The Power of Compassion and Kindness

At the heart of acceptance lies the fundamental need for compassion and kindness. When we encounter someone who behaves, talks, looks, or thinks differently from us, it is an opportunity to practice empathy. By showing compassion, we acknowledge their struggles and validate their experiences. Acts of kindness can bridge the gap between differences, fostering a sense of belonging and support.

Acceptance is not about mere tolerance; it is about actively seeking to understand and appreciate the diverse tapestry of human existence. When we make an effort to understand someone else's perspective, we not only enhance their wellbeing but also enrich our own lives. In a world that often seems divided, compassion and kindness are powerful tools that can bring us closer together.

Emma's journey toward acceptance didn't just benefit her own wellbeing—it rippled outwards, impacting her friends, family, and colleagues. She learned to appreciate the diverse tapestry of human experiences and the power of compassion and kindness.

By embracing the challenge of accepting others who are different, Emma found not only a personal journey to recovery, but also a renewed sense of purpose and connection with those around her.

I hope this story serves as a reminder that acceptance is not just a personal journey but a collective effort to create a more understanding and inclusive world. I also hope this story demonstrates the transformative power of empathy, compassion and kindness, and the importance of breaking the silence surrounding poor mental health, wellbeing, and neurodiversity.

Conclusion

Accepting others' differences in mental health, wellbeing, and neurodiversity is not just a moral imperative; it is a pathway to a richer, more diverse society. By embracing these differences, we not only support those who struggle but also enrich our own lives with a broader range of perspectives and experiences. It's time to move beyond discomfort and towards understanding and acceptance.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Have you encountered any specific challenges or triumphs in accepting differences in others? What steps do you think are most effective in fostering compassion and kindness?

Thank you for reading this.

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

#MentalHealthMatters #Wellbeing #Neurodiversity #EmbraceDifferences #CompassionAndKindness #EndTheStigma #InclusiveCommunity #BreakTheSilence #UnderstandingAndAcceptance #MentalHealthAwareness #NeurodiversityAwareness #EmpathyMatters #Cedartreemhw

The Growing Mental Health Crisis: A Call for Open Conversation, Enhanced Support and Understanding.

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 14:50:24 GMT

Before I start, I want you to know, these are just my thoughts and observations, and not to be taken as a great study. I would love to hear your thoughts and views on this.

In recent years, mental health has come to the forefront of public view, with increasing awareness and acceptance. However, despite this progress, the mental health crisis appears to be escalating. In this blog, I want to explore key questions surrounding this issue and re-emphasise the importance of talking about mental health, providing more support, and eliminating stigma.

Does the Crisis Seem Larger Because We Are Talking About It More?

I'm wondering if the perceived increase in mental health issues is simply due to more conversations and focus on the topic. A bit like when you want to buy a new car… Go with me on this… You decide on the car you want, read all about it, and then suddenly, you see them everywhere!

With greater awareness and acceptance, I believe people are more likely to recognise and report their struggles. This visibility can create the impression that more individuals are experiencing poor mental health when, in reality, we are just more attuned to the problem. While this increased awareness is a positive step, it also highlights the need for adequate resources and support systems to address the growing demand for mental health services.

Why Is There an Increasing Mental Health Crisis Despite Greater Awareness and Acceptance?

Despite the strides made in promoting mental health awareness and acceptance, the crisis continues to worsen. Several factors contribute to this contradiction.

This is a very simplified explanation, but for the sake of keeping it concise: The fast-paced and high-pressure nature of modern life, economic uncertainties, social isolation, and the impact of social media can all exacerbate mental health issues. Moreover, the COVID-19 pandemic has intensified these challenges, leading to increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.

Recognising that awareness alone is not enough, we must translate this awareness into concrete actions to provide decent and timely support to those in need.

Are Some People Becoming Indifferent to Mental Health Issues?

I also have a concern that some individuals may view mental health and wellbeing as just another trend or an excuse for certain behaviours. This scepticism can undermine genuine efforts to address mental health issues and discourage those struggling from seeking help.

To combat this, it is essential to foster a culture of empathy and understanding, emphasising that mental health is a critical aspect of overall wellbeing. I know many people struggling with the stuff I share on social media and talks that I do. By sharing personal stories and promoting open dialogue, we can help dispel misconceptions and encourage a supportive environment.

The Need for More Funding, Help, and Support

I firmly believe that the root of the mental health crisis stems from the lack of sufficient funding, help, support, and therapy available. Whether from the private or public sector, including the NHS, there is an urgent need for greater investment in mental health services.

This should encompass expanding access to affordable or free therapy, eliminating the horrendous and life-threatening waiting times, providing more training for mental health professionals, and offering comprehensive support for those affected by mental health issues. By addressing these gaps, we can make significant progress in tackling the crisis and improving the lives of countless individuals.

The Importance of Mental Health and Wellbeing Provision in the Workplace

I also strongly believe in the importance of Mental Health and Wellbeing Provision in the Workplace. Mental health and wellbeing are not just personal issues; they are also critical components of a healthy, productive workplace. Employers have a responsibility to create environments that support mental health, offering resources such as Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), mental health days, flexible working arrangements, and access to counselling services. Senior leadership support and belief are vital in championing these initiatives, as their commitment sets the tone for the entire organisation and underscores the importance of mental health.

A proactive approach to mental health in the workplace can lead to reduced absenteeism, increased employee satisfaction, and overall better job performance. By prioritising mental health, employers can foster a more supportive and inclusive work culture.

If you are interested in what Cedar Tree can offer for Mental Health in the Workplace - Click Here

Conclusion

The increasing mental health crisis is a complex and multifaceted issue that requires a concerted effort to address. By continuing to talk openly about mental health, providing more support and resources, and eliminating the stigma surrounding mental health issues, we can make a difference. It is time to move beyond awareness and take concrete actions to support those in need and create a society where mental health and wellbeing are prioritised and valued.

Lastly, I understand that some of you might still be unconvinced about the importance of mental health because you've never experienced poor mental health or a severe mental illness. Perhaps you've faced mental health challenges and managed them well. However, for those who may not fully grasp what it's like to struggle with mental health, I encourage you to develop more understanding and empathy through discussion and education. Imagine trying to understand the pain of a broken leg if you've never had one yourself. Just because you can't see or fully comprehend someone's mental health struggle doesn't make it any less real. It's essential to recognise that not everyone experiences, comprehends, or copes with life the same way. We are all different, with unique skills and abilities. By acknowledging these differences and fostering empathy, we can create a more supportive and compassionate environment for everyone.

Let's strive to offer more compassion and support for one another, recognising that mental health is just as important as physical health. Together, we can make a significant difference in the lives of those struggling with mental health issues. Your support and understanding can be the beacon of hope someone desperately needs.

Thank you for reading this.

Graham

PART II - Breaking the Stigma: Navigating Alcohol and Drug Recovery, and Embracing Teetotalism

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 13:21:53 GMT

PART II

Part I can be found here Dry January - The Transformative Benefits of Reducing Alcohol - My Journey

Following up on my previous blog about the transformative benefits of reducing alcohol, I want to delve into an often-overlooked aspect of this journey: the stigma associated with having an alcohol or drug problem, and also the stigma attached to being teetotal or opting for low alcohol intake. These societal pressures can make recovery and sobriety challenging, but it's time we address them head-on.

I have faced this struggle myself, enduring everything from 'friendly' jibes to outright judgement from people who seem to think there must be something wrong with me for admitting that alcohol had control over my life. It can be disheartening when people don’t know how to respond when you say, "I don’t drink anymore!" Some might react with awkward silence, while others feel compelled to crack a joke or belittle you, possibly out of their own insecurities or fears.

The Stigma of Alcohol and Drug Problems

| Facing an alcohol or drug problem can be incredibly isolating due to the heavy stigma surrounding addiction.

Society often views those struggling with substance abuse through a lens of judgment rather than empathy. This stigma can manifest in several ways:

Shame and Secrecy : Many people feel compelled to hide their struggles due to fear of being judged or ostracised. This secrecy can prevent them from seeking the help they desperately need.

Negative Stereotypes : There’s a persistent misconception that addiction is a moral failing or a sign of weakness, rather than a complex medical condition that requires treatment and support.

Discrimination : Individuals in recovery may face discrimination in the workplace, within their social circles, or even in their own families. This can hinder their progress and undermine their self-esteem.

Breaking free from addiction requires courage, and acknowledging the stigma is the first step toward fostering a more supportive and understanding society.

The Stigma of Being Teetotal or Low Alcohol Intake

| As I said previously, choosing sobriety or low alcohol intake can also invite unwanted attention and judgment.

Challenging the Stigma

| Challenging these stigmas requires a shift in societal attitudes and greater awareness.

Promote Open Dialogues : Encourage honest conversations about addiction and recovery. Sharing personal stories, like mine, can help demystify the process and highlight the courage involved in seeking help.

Educate and Inform : Spread awareness that addiction is a medical condition, not a moral failing. Education can dispel myths and foster empathy and support.

Respect Choices : Respect everyone’s choice regarding alcohol consumption, whether they are in recovery or simply prefer not to drink. Celebrate sobriety and moderation as positive, healthy lifestyle choices.

Support Systems : Advocate for strong support systems for those in recovery. Support groups, counselling, and community programs play a crucial role in overcoming addiction.

By addressing and challenging these stigmas, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for everyone, regardless of their relationship with alcohol.

The Importance of Seeking Help

| Recognising that you need help is a pivotal step in overcoming addiction.

It’s essential to understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous and commendable act of self-care. Here’s why seeking help is crucial:

Professional Guidance : Trained professionals can provide medical and psychological support tailored to your specific needs. This can include detox programs, therapy, and medication management.

Emotional Support : Connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can provide immense emotional relief and a sense of belonging. Support groups offer a safe space to share experiences and gain insights from peers.

Accountability : Regular check-ins with a counsellor or support group can help keep you accountable and motivated on your recovery journey. This structure can be a powerful tool in maintaining sobriety.

Holistic Approach : Comprehensive recovery programs address not just the physical aspects of addiction but also the emotional and mental health components. This holistic approach ensures a more sustainable recovery.

In Conclusion

Whether you’re battling an addiction or choosing a teetotal lifestyle, it’s essential to remember that your journey is valid and deserving of respect. Breaking the chains of stigma can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling lives for many.

If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or drug problems, reach out to one of the organisations listed in my previous blog. The journey towards a healthier lifestyle starts with one step, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

| Let's continue to support each other and foster an understanding and compassionate society.

Help & Support available

If you think you have an alcohol problem and need help with giving up, please get in contact with one of the following organisations:

Drinkline is the national alcohol helpline. If you're worried about your own or someone else's drinking, you can call this free helpline in complete confidence. Call 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9am to 8pm, weekends 11am to 4pm).

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a free self-help group. Its "12 step" programme involves getting sober with the help of regular support groups. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/
Al-Anon Family Groups offer support and understanding to the families and friends of problem drinkers, whether they're still drinking or not. Alateen is part of Al-Anon and can be attended by 12 to 17-year-olds who are affected by another person's drinking, usually a parent. http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
We Are With You is a UK-wide treatment agency that helps individuals, families and communities manage the effects of drug and alcohol misuse. https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk/
Adfam is a national charity working with families affected by drugs and alcohol. Adfam operates an online message board and local support groups. http://www.adfam.org.uk/
The National Association for Children of Alcoholics (Nacoa) provides a free, confidential telephone and email helpline for children of alcohol-dependent parents and others concerned about their welfare. Call 0800 358 3456 for the Nacoa helpline. http://www.nacoa.org.uk/
SMART Recovery groups help people decide whether they have a problem, build up their motivation to change, and offer a set of proven tools and techniques to support recovery. https://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/

These organisations can provide valuable support and resources to help you on your journey to reduce or eliminate alcohol consumption.

| Here's to breaking the stigma together.

Feel free to get in contact if you have any questions.

Part I can be found here Dry January - The Transformative Benefits of Reducing Alcohol - My Journey

Graham

PART I - The Transformative Benefits of Reducing Alcohol - My Journey

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 12:57:09 GMT

PART I

Part II can be found here Breaking the Stigma: Navigating Alcohol and Drug Recovery, and Embracing Teetotalism

Happy New Year all!

So, the Christmas and New Year celebrations are over for another year, and many of you are looking at New Year’s resolutions. One of them might be Dry January!

Back in 2020, I decided to experiment with going alcohol-free for one week. That initial week turned into two weeks, a month, two months... and now, five years later, I'm still going strong—mostly. I do enjoy a beer occasionally, but my consumption is nowhere near what it used to be. One of the primary reasons I stopped drinking was financial. As a self-employed individual, the COVID lockdown significantly reduced my income, making alcohol an unaffordable luxury.

Another reason was, In 2018, I transitioned from the corporate world of IT sales, where heavy drinking was the norm, to a role in Mental Health and Wellbeing. This career change prompted significant self-reflection, and I realised how much I relied on alcohol. Raised in a Rugby club environment, alcohol had been a constant presence in my life from a young age. While I wouldn't have labelled myself an alcoholic in the conventional sense, it was clear that alcohol controlled many aspects of my life. My father's struggle with alcoholism also played a part in my decision to quit—it was a path I didn’t want to follow.

If you had told me years before I'd quit drinking, I would have laughed it off in disbelief. But here I am, and I couldn't be more pleased with the decision I've made. So, if you're considering participating in Dry January, why not think about extending it? It could mark the beginning of a journey with significant benefits. Beyond the initial sense of achievement, continuing this practice indefinitely or significantly reducing alcohol consumption can lead to substantial improvements in many areas of life.

I understand I may have made this seem straightforward, and at that moment, it was, because the timing was just right. If everything hadn’t aligned perfectly, I might not have been able to do it. For some of you, it might not be as simple, and professional help may be necessary. Below are some organisations that can assist.

Physical Health Benefits

Improved Liver Health : Alcohol puts a strain on the liver, which can lead to fatty liver, cirrhosis, and other liver diseases. Reducing or eliminating alcohol allows the liver to heal and function optimally.

Better Heart Health : Lowering alcohol intake can reduce blood pressure and decrease the risk of cardiovascular diseases.

Weight Management : Alcohol is calorie-dense and often contributes to weight gain. Cutting out alcohol can aid in weight loss and promote a healthier body composition.

Enhanced Immune System : Excessive alcohol weakens the immune system, making the body more susceptible to infections. Abstaining strengthens immune responses.

Mental Health Benefits

Improved Mood and Mental Clarity : Alcohol can contribute to anxiety and depression. Abstaining helps stabilise mood and improves cognitive function. - This was a real big one and surprise for me!

Better Sleep Quality : While alcohol might help you fall asleep, it disrupts the sleep cycle. Going alcohol-free leads to more restful and restorative sleep.

Increased Energy Levels : Without the draining effects of alcohol, many find themselves feeling more energetic and motivated.

Social and Emotional Benefits

Better Relationships : Alcohol can strain relationships due to mood swings and behaviours influenced by intoxication. Sobriety fosters healthier, more genuine connections. - Another big one for me, that I'm still working on!

Enhanced Self-Esteem: Successfully abstaining from alcohol can boost self-confidence and self-respect, promoting a positive self-image.

Clearer Goals and Aspirations : Without alcohol clouding judgment, individuals often find it easier to focus on personal and professional goals.

Financial Benefits

Saving Money : Alcohol can be expensive. Cutting back or eliminating it can lead to significant savings over time. - One I was forced into with the COVID lockdown, but might be an issue today with the cost of living!

In conclusion

I’m not claiming that alcohol is inherently bad or that everyone should stop drinking. However, for me, choosing to give it up was a beneficial decision. Extending Dry January into a long-term lifestyle change can be one of the most rewarding choices you make. The physical, mental, social, and financial benefits highlight the importance of reassessing your relationship with alcohol. Whether you decide to quit entirely or significantly cut down, embracing a life with less alcohol can lead to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling existence.

If you think you have an alcohol problem and need help with giving up, please get in contact with one of the following organisations:

Drinkline is the national alcohol helpline. If you're worried about your own or someone else's drinking, you can call this free helpline in complete confidence. Call 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9am to 8pm, weekends 11am to 4pm).

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a free self-help group. Its "12 step" programme involves getting sober with the help of regular support groups. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/
Al-Anon Family Groups offer support and understanding to the families and friends of problem drinkers, whether they're still drinking or not. Alateen is part of Al-Anon and can be attended by 12 to 17-year-olds who are affected by another person's drinking, usually a parent. http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
We Are With You is a UK-wide treatment agency that helps individuals, families and communities manage the effects of drug and alcohol misuse. https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk/
Adfam is a national charity working with families affected by drugs and alcohol. Adfam operates an online message board and local support groups. http://www.adfam.org.uk/
The National Association for Children of Alcoholics (Nacoa) provides a free, confidential telephone and email helpline for children of alcohol-dependent parents and others concerned about their welfare. Call 0800 358 3456 for the Nacoa helpline. http://www.nacoa.org.uk/
SMART Recovery groups help people decide whether they have a problem, build up their motivation to change, and offer a set of proven tools and techniques to support recovery. https://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/

These organisations can provide valuable support and resources to help you on your journey to reduce or eliminate alcohol consumption.

Thank you for reading this, and I wish you a Happy New Year.

Feel free to get in contact if you have any questions.

Part II can be found here Breaking the Stigma: Navigating Alcohol and Drug Recovery, and Embracing Teetotalism

Graham

The Positive Impact of Prioritising Mental Health and Wellbeing in the Workplace

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 16:08:40 GMT

Prioritising Mental Health and Wellbeing in the Workplace

In today's fast-paced work environment, the importance of mental health and wellbeing cannot be overstated. Organisations that prioritise the mental health of their employees not only foster a healthier and more supportive workplace but also see significant benefits in terms of productivity, engagement, and overall organisational success.

Moving Beyond the Tick-Box Approach

It’s crucial to move beyond a tick-box approach to mental health and wellbeing. Simply providing a bit of training and an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is not enough.

True commitment involves investing in a comprehensive mental health framework, engaging with consultancy services, and ensuring ongoing training for all staff, managers, and most importantly, C-level executives. This holistic approach ensures that mental health and wellbeing are deeply embedded in the organisational culture, leading to sustainable and meaningful improvements.

By fostering a culture that values mental health and wellbeing, organisations can create a thriving workplace where employees feel valued, supported, and motivated. This not only leads to happier and healthier employees but also drives business success and sustainability.

The Benefits of a Mentally Healthy Workplace:

Increased Productivity and Engagement
Employees who feel supported in their mental health are more likely to be engaged and productive. According to the CIPD, promoting wellbeing can help prevent stress and create positive working environments where individuals and organisations will thrive.
Reduced Absenteeism and Presenteeism
Poor mental wellbeing costs UK employers an estimated £42 billion to £45 billion annually through presenteeism, sickness absence, and staff turnover. By investing in mental health initiatives, companies can significantly reduce these costs.
Positive Return on Investment
Recent research indicates that for every £1 invested in mental health interventions, there is an average return of £5.
Enhanced Employee Retention
A supportive work environment that prioritises mental health can lead to lower turnover rates. The NHS has found that better staff experience overall is linked to better wellbeing, lower turnover, and lower sickness absence.
Improved Organisational Performance
Organisations that integrate wellbeing into their culture and leadership see improvements in overall performance. Healthy workplaces help people to flourish and reach their potential, benefiting both employees and the organisation.

UK Statistics

Financial Benefits : Investing in mental health interventions yields a positive return on investment of around £5 for every £1 spent

Cost Savings : Addressing poor mental wellbeing can save UK employers between £42 billion and £45 billion annually

Employee Engagement : Promoting wellbeing can significantly enhance employee engagement and productivity

Let’s continue to champion mental health and wellbeing in our workplaces and reap the numerous benefits it brings.

For more information on this subject see
Cedar Tree Workplace Mental Health & Wellbeing LINK

Source of information

Wellbeing at Work Factsheets - CIPD.
https://www.cipd.org/uk/knowledge/factsheets/well-being-factsheet/ .
Mental health at work: statistics - Mental Health Foundation.
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/statistics/mental-health-work-statistics .
Evidence-based approaches to workforce wellbeing - NHS Employers.
https://www.nhsemployers.org/articles/evidence-based-approaches-workforce-wellbeing .

#WorkplaceWellbeing #EmployeeWellbeing #MentalHealthAwareness #HealthyWorkplace #WellbeingAtWork #EmployeeEngagement #SupportiveWorkplace#WorkplaceCulture #InvestInWellbeing

Daring to Hope

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 15:35:45 GMT

Finding Light in the Darkest Times

For those who know me well, will know that HOPE is one of my favourite words. There was a time when I believed there was no hope, leading me to have some very dark thoughts and eventually a breakdown. I remember saying to someone, “How can there be hope when there obviously is none?” It was the help and support from those around me, who held onto HOPE for me, and that guided me—and us as a family—through that difficult period

In moments when everything seems bleak and the future feels uncertain, daring to HOPE can be a powerful act of resilience.

For those who are experiencing hopelessness, know that you are not alone. There are people around you who care deeply and are ready to support you through these challenging times. Together, we can find that glimmer of HOPE and nurture it until it grows into a beacon of light and strength, and eventually a path through those difficult times.

Spotting Signs of Struggle:

Changes in Behaviour : Noticeable shifts in mood, energy levels, or daily habits.

Withdrawal : Pulling away from social activities and isolating themselves.

Expressing Hopelessness : Talking about feeling hopeless, worthless, or having no reason to be here anymore, or saying thing like—"no one would care if they were no longer here”.

Physical Symptoms : Unexplained aches, changes in sleep patterns, or appetite.

Ways to you can support those feeling hopeless:

Listen actively : Sometimes, the best support is simply being there to listen without judgment. Let them share their feelings and thoughts freely.

Offer encouragement : Small words of encouragement can make a big difference. Remind them of their strengths and past achievements.

Be present : Your presence can be a source of comfort. Whether it’s a phone call, a visit, or a simple message, let them know you are there for them. Or just sit/walk with them in silence if needed.

Help with practical tasks : Offering to help with daily tasks can alleviate some of their burdens and show that you care.

Encourage them to seek professional help : Gently suggest seeking help from mental health professionals. Therapy and counselling can provide valuable support and strategies for coping.

If you notice these signs in someone, reach out with compassion and understanding. I know from experience that support from others can make a significant difference in the journey towards finding…. Daring to HOPE and healing.

Let’s build a community where hope flourishes, even in the darkest times. Supporting each other through tough moments is essential, and I hope this message inspires many to find hope and offer support.

#DaringToHope #MentalHealth #Wellbeing #SupportEachOther #Resilience #HopeInDarkTimes #MentalHealthAwareness #YouAreNotAlone #CommunitySupport #FindHope #MentalHealthMatters #BreakTheStigma #HealingTogether

Embracing diversity and inclusion in the workplace.

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 16:25:16 GMT

Why is it so important to have different kinds of people and make everyone feel included at work?

In this blog, we’ll talk about why having different kinds of people at work is important and how it helps companies do well.

In today’s world, having different kinds of people at work isn’t just a trendy thing—it’s a big part of what makes companies successful. It helps people come up with new ideas and makes work a better place to be. In this blog, I will talk about why this is so important.

What Is Workplace Diversity?

Workplace diversity means having people with different backgrounds and skills working together. It’s like a colourful quilt made up of different pieces: race, age, gender, identity, culture, upbringing, and more.

It’s not just about checking off boxes; it’s about making a place where everyone feels important and included.

Why Does Diversity Matter?

New Ideas : Different people have different ideas. Imagine a meeting where engineers, artists, and marketers work together—the best ideas come from their different and divers skills.

Creativity and New Things : When different people work together, they come up with creative ideas. Great things happen when we think outside the box.

Better Communication : Different people have different ways of thinking, communicating and working. This helps everyone understand and work together better.

Happy Work Environment : When everyone feels included, they trust each other more and feel safer to share their ideas. People do their best work when they can be themselves.

Attracting Smart People : Smart people want to work at companies that value different kinds of people. And smart people come from many different educational backgrounds. This is a big plus for a company.

Better Decisions : Different people see things from different angles, viewpoints and approaches - which leads to better decisions.

How Can We Encourage Diversity?

Fair Hiring : Start from the beginning. Make sure job descriptions are fair. Ensure diverse interview panels.

Training : Educate employees, and especially mangers about unconscious bias, cultural competence, and inclusion.

Fair Policies : Make sure your rules are fair. Are promotions based on good work? Is parental leave for everyone?

Leadership : Leaders set the example. When they value diversity, everyone else does too. Don’t say one thing and then do the other.

Employee Groups : Let people form groups based on shared experiences.

Flexible Work : Make room for different needs—like working from home, flexible hours, or job sharing.

Remember: Inclusion Is Important Too

Diversity without inclusion is like having a beautiful garden but not letting all the plants grow. Inclusion makes sure everyone feels welcome, heard, and important.

It’s not just about hiring different people; it’s about creating an environment where diversity and inclusion can thrive, and everyone can do their best work.

It Makes Work a Welcoming Place:

Friendly Atmosphere : Inclusion means making a place where everyone feels comfortable and appreciated. It’s like walking into a caring, welcoming, embracing room where everyone belongs.

Recognition : When people are included, their hard work is noticed. They feel important and not just another face in the crowd.

Valuing Different Ideas:

Listening : Inclusion means really listening to different ideas. It’s about saying, “Your idea is important, and we want to hear it.”

Appreciating Uniqueness : Each person has different skills and experiences. Inclusion celebrates these differences instead of making everyone the same.

Feeling Safe:

Being Seen and Heard : Inclusion makes sure no one feels left out. It’s about making a place where people can be themselves without being judged or left out.

Removing Barriers : Inclusion gets rid of things that get in the way—whether they’re physical, cultural, or emotional. ‘Everyone has a seat at the table’.

Giving Power and Helping Growth:

Giving Power to People : When people feel included, they’re more likely to take risks, share ideas, and give their all. Inclusion gives them the power to reach their potential.

Personal Growth : Feeling important encourages personal growth. In an inclusive place, people learn from each other and grow.

Building Trust and Loyalty:

Trust : Inclusion builds trust among team members. When people know they’re respected, they trust their colleagues and leaders.

Loyalty : Inclusive companies keep loyal employees. People stay where they feel appreciated and where their well-being matters. In short, inclusion isn’t just a checkbox—it’s the heart of a great workplace. It’s about bringing different people together to work in a place of respect and shared purpose.

#movember2023 – Week 3 - Supporting one another!

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 18:04:14 GMT

This is a great video on the Ask Twice initiative. LINK

As you will see from my pic, that the ‘beard’ is coming along, although a little grey! At some point I will turn it into a Bro-Mo.

I love this picture of a tree still growing, because it is being supported by another. I also love the fact the tree can thrive and survive in some amazing places. (see this for more amazing trees TREES )

This week I want to talk about the important subject of supporting one another, which is the foundation of strong and resilient communities, workplaces and friendship groups.

In a world filled with challenges and difficulties, extending a helping hand fosters connections that go beyond our individual struggles. Whether through a kind word, a listening ear, or actual assistance, the act of support creates bonds that can weather the storms of life.

Many of us, may find it challenging to share our struggles in life, due to societal expectations, cultural norms, or personal upbringing that emphasises stoicism. Encouraging open communication and creating a supportive environment is crucial for fostering positive mental health, breaking down stereotypes, and creating a sense of solidarity and companionship. It helps build resilience, promotes emotional well-being, and challenges societal expectations around traditional masculinity. Additionally, supporting one another contributes to healthier relationships and a more inclusive and understanding community.

Sometimes, it can be almost impossible to reach out and ask for help. Therefore we – the family, friends, and work colleagues need to be aware of who might be struggling right now and reach out to them. We can do this by asking twice. "Ask Twice" is a mental health initiative encouraging people to ask a simple question twice to help others open up about their struggles. Sometimes, individuals may not reveal their struggles immediately, but a repeated inquiry shows genuine concern and can create a space for meaningful conversations.

So, have a think about how you can incorporate the "Ask Twice" approach in your interactions with family, friends or colleagues? And let's be kind, and embrace empathy, foster compassion, and build a collective strength that provides genuine and effective support to us all.

Please support the Movember campaign to support men’s health.

https://uk.movember.com

Finding Hope

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 19:03:32 GMT

Finding the power of hope in the midst of suffering

#Hope is a simple four-letter word that carries immense power. It's a force that has given me light in the darkest of tunnels, provide strength in times of adversity, and inspire me to look beyond my current circumstances. It’s my favourite word!

A few years back, when she was just a teenager, our beautiful youngest daughter was critically ill in hospital, fighting for her life with a severe a mental illness. She spent the best part of 5 years as an in-patient, in several different hospitals, some of which were 30-40 miles away from we live. Many times, we were told, we were going to lose her, and were told to prepare ourselves that she was not going to make it through this illness. A a few times she was within 24hrs of dying.

Also, during time, my eldest daughter was in a toxic marriage. Which finally broke up and ended in divorce. As a result, she suffered with depression, rejection, stress and anxiety, finally ending up moving back home to be with us.

On top of all this, my dad was in and out of hospital with health issues, as were my parents in-law, the company I worked for where making redundancies, and my department was earmarked as ‘at risk’. I had a serious car accident. And the Youth organisation I’d help build up over several years closed because I could no longer run it and there was no one else to step in.

During this time, as you can imagine, the relationship between my wife and I was put under great strain, and eventually the painful events going on around me, exceeded my ability to cope. So, you could say, life during this period was dark, desperate and seemingly without hope.

jarl-schmidt-8qgFNfC2oAI-unsplash

However, the power of hope is a remarkable force that can shape our lives and drive us forward, helping us to persevere. And I want to share with you the profound impact that hope give me, and can have on us all individually and society as a whole.

When we have hope, we find a renewed strength that was not there before that helps us to fight on with a renewed determination. Hope is a powerful motivator, whether it's overcoming a personal challenge, pursuing a dream, or striving for a better world. Hope serves as the fuel that keeps us going, even when faced with difficulties. This motivation is what propels us as individuals to make significant strides in our lives and defy the odds.

When I was going through this challenging time, there were many times, when I could take no more. I saw what I thought, was a light at the end of the tunnel. But I wasn’t. It turned out to be to be yet another challenge, that came at me like a freight train coming in the opposite direction. It ran into me, knocking me of my feet and bouldering me over and over again. Pushing me further and further back into this deep dark tunnel that I found myself in. During this time; as a parent, I had, we had feelings of guilt, shame, blame and failure.

I never knew there could be so much pain from the anxiety and the hopelessness I felt, we felt, as a family. Watching one daughter suddenly change so quickly, so negatively, and just fade away. And the other in such pain and misery. We felt hopeless and helpless, not knowing what the future held.

I am not exaggerating when I say; at times I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest and I thought I was going to die. I thought “y ou’re the father here ” - “ you’re the parent ” – “ the adult ” – “ get a grip , “ sort yourself out! ”.

As time went on, I sunk deeper and deeper into a black pit of depression. I tried in vain to get myself out. But It felt like the depression and anxiety stood over me like an angry boxer. Who had already knocked me down many, many times, and it would whisper in my ear “don’t you dare try getting up, I will just knock you down again and again and again!” So, in the end, I didn’t - and My hope started to slip away.

Hope is an essential element of resilience. In the face of adversity, hope can be the lifeline that helps us endure and bounce back. It allows us to view challenges as temporary setbacks rather than insurmountable barriers. Hope keeps our spirits high during difficult times, enabling us to see the potential for improvement and growth.

The impact of hope on my mental health was and still is powerful healing and driving force. It can alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety, offering us a positive outlook on life. Hope promotes emotional well-being, as it encourages people to focus on possibilities rather than dwelling on past mistakes or regrets. Cultivating hope can be a powerful tool for maintaining good mental health.

Hope is not something that randomly appears; it needs to be nurtured and cultivated. Here are a few ways to do this, that I have found helpful.

Find acceptance . Learning to accept ourselves, warts and all, and being kinder to ourselves when things go wrong will increase our enjoyment of life, our resilience and our well-being. You might find this helpful -
This serenity poem used a lot in therapy work -

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Seek joy in all you do. You see, happiness is a fleeting thing, that relies on an outcome, or conclusion - If I this happens, I will be happy, if I doesn’t, I won’t. If I get this job, I will be happy, if I don’t, I won’t. Joy however, is not a response to some experience, situation or result. Joy It is a constant and a choice. Joy is doing what we were made to do, no matter what we experience, no matter what situation is, no matter what the result or outcome is. we can experience Joy.

Set realistic goals , by defining what you want to achieve and break it down into manageable steps. This can help you maintain a sense of purpose and hope.

Surround yourself with positive influences. Spend time with people who uplift and support you.

Practice gratitude , by focusing on what you're grateful for, can help maintain a hopeful perspective, even in challenging times.

Helping others is great for our mental health. Acts of kindness and helping others can boost your sense of hope by creating a positive impact on those around you.

Stay informed and engaged : Learn about and contribute to causes or initiatives that align with your hopes, values and life goals.

On a larger scale, hope can be a catalyst for societal change. Throughout history, many social movements and revolutions have been driven by a collective hope for a better future. When a group of people comes together with a shared vision and hope for change, they can achieve remarkable transformations in society. Don’t we need that right now, with what is going on in the world? Hope for a more just, equal, and sustainable world has inspired countless movements and initiatives.

I believe hope is an essential element of the human experience, offering motivation, resilience, and the potential for positive change. I can testify to It being the beacon of light in the darkest of times. Embracing hope by nurturing it, and sharing it with others can lead to a brighter, more promising future for us all.

So, to conclude my story. Today, my daughter is stands restored from her illness. She is married to a wonderful man with four beautiful children.

My eldest daughter is now re-married to a wonderful man too, and they too have two beautiful children of their own.

I kept my job. My dad and father in-law seemed to gain a new sense of life, right up to when they passed away. And my mum in-law is doing amazing.

Keeping Fit is good for our mental health

Wed, 03 Jun 2020 11:52:42 GMT

We all know keeping fit is good for our physical health, but did you know it is also extremely good for our Mental Health too?!

Personally for me I have been really enjoying cycling during the lock down and have recently been going out with a good friend (social distancing involved �� ), which has helped us both.

I'm not particularly fit at the age of 53 and I am starting to fray at the edges a little bit, but the cycling has helped me not only with coping with the Covid19 lock -down, but also with everyday anxiety struggles with my mental health. Not only that, I have been getting fitter.... extending the range each time, starting at just 8 miles….. or should I say 13k cos it sounds more! ��

I am really experiencing the positive benefits not only physically but also mentally.

So how about YOU?

Maybe consider taking up some exercise during this lock-down and build it into your natural rhythm of life. It doesn't have to be cycling; It can be walking, running, dancing, Yoga, keep fit or Gym anything.

Graham Foxwell @ Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being.
www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk

Blog #5 - Mental Health Awareness Week May 2020 - Living with Parkinson’s Disease

Fri, 22 May 2020 14:17:49 GMT

It was as I walked across a field near Lingfield Park Racecourse that I shook my hands to dry them, that I felt my left arm was not right, it felt kind of heavier, not shaking the like the right one. So I decided to see my GP when I got home as the trapped nerve was bugging me. It was not a surprise to me that my shoulder might be wonky, I had made my share of hits in rugby as the smallest forward in a small pack.

So about a week later I was at the doctors seeing a Locum Dr. I walked in to see her, told her about my arm feeling weird and mentioned I it shook a bit after a game. The Dr did a reflex test and a couple of other things, then she said “I am sorry, but I think you have Parkinson’s Disease”. I was shocked and despite my efforts to be strong, I burst into tears. How could I a 30-year-old super fit, just married man have an old person’s illness? The rest of the time with the GP is hazy. She told me she used to work with PD sufferers, so knew the symptoms and she knew who was best in her opinion to see me at hospital. This instant diagnosis was actually very good as I now know many sufferers for whom it took many years of no diagnosis. So I was lucky.

How could I, a 30 year old super fit just married man have an old person’s illness?

I went home and decided I would not tell my wife until it was confirmed I was scared how it would affect us both and the fear of being somehow weak and it being my fault…this plan lasted about 2 minutes before I cracked and told Suzie. After lots of tears and a trip into the world of medical websites we decided to not tell anyone other our parents and brother and sister, until the diagnosis was confirmed. This confirmation it done by elimination as the only way to confirm PD is by brain autopsy, a thing I was very much against trying.

It took a year during which time I played some of my most enjoyable rugby knowing it would my last season I realised I was being affected by PD as I was after the 1st league game where I subbed and unfortunately was not in a good frame of mind when I came on as a replacement with 20 minutes to go and was sin binned with 10 minutes to go and lucky to have been binned not red carded. My last game was a nonleague game for a mixed 1st and 2nd team squad again I was lucky as this gave me a chance to play with my 4 best mates at the club one last time.

I also decided after my diagnosis that I would keep my condition from most people just family to know but how to tell them. I told my brother first and as usual he was great a mix of common sense and compassion in a way only he can do. Telling ny mum and dad was horrible in my head but so good once done. The love I got from my family is still as strong as ever and gives me the will to remain positive and determined to keep on doing as much as I can. The story is the same where Suzies parents and sister are concerned, I am so lucky.

“S### happens”

Telling work and friends was hard to so I kept it for a long time, I had a cryptic chat with my boss just saying I was dealing with a large issue so if I lost it then I had a good reason. My closest friends I told Michelle (known as Dave) was so disappointed that I was not having a baby that she really made me think on that. I have found friends reactions varied, Adam just asked “are you going to die?” Nick shrugged and said “S### happens”. But some friends seem to have found it hard to accept the change in me from action man to sluggish man. But the great majority just treat me as normal.

The response was “Nah we’ll just shout run Forrest run”

Why was I afraid to tell people? With hindsight it was daft but at the time I feared that telling people somehow weakened me and that they would treat me differently. To my friends, probably only in my head only I was the rough and tough rugby player who they looked to when they needed help or there was trouble. I certainly defended my friends when they needed it. Now I would not be that person. Of course, they treat me differently, yet the same humour and friendship still underpins the friendships. For example, I went to see a game at the Madstad at a time when I was suffering from a festigant gait basically I would walk faster and faster until I either ran into something or I fell over. I thought best I warn Pete and Nick and ask if they could just get in front of me and slowdown as a brake. The response was “Nah we’ll just shout run Forrest run”

I do go to some dark places, but I know the best thing to do is talk with someone…

Since the diagnosis over 15 years have passed I am no longer working which gives the ability to manage my day to get the best out of it plus do things I need to slow down the progress yoga and table tennis are my two-exercise program and I am definitely a better more understanding person than I would have been without PD. I do go to some dark places, but I know the best thing to do is talk with someone it always amazes me that when I vocalise a problem it always seems to shrink.

Thanks for reading - Matt Bourne

Thank you for reading. Please look out for future BLOGS and articles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being.

www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

You can find the other Blogs in this series below (Mental Health Awareness Week - May 2020)

Blog #4 - Mental Health Awareness Week May 2020 - Who expected to run a Marathon?

Thu, 21 May 2020 16:47:20 GMT

Through a number of groups, we work with, friends and family, I know many people are finding this covid19 lifestyle extremely hard. Whether you are shielding at home, furloughed, working full time or part time, one of our ‘keyworkers’ or other it is tough. You could be part of a large family unit or on you own, this covid19 lockdown will affect us all to caring degrees and in many different ways.

Some are absolutely hating it and others are seeming to thrive. But one thing is for sure, everyone is affected and has had their daily routine, meaning and purpose disrupted.

Just like running a marathon, many of us will hit the wall

Just like running a marathon, many of us will hit the wall; where we think we can run no more. But just like a marathon - if we keep going and push through; the tough time we are experiencing, will pass. We will then get our ‘second wind’ and we can race on. This may happen several times during this lock-down and beyond. But each time, we need to tell ourselves, “ This will pass ” and " I will get through this ", I will finish the race and be proud.

More than ever, during this time we need to look after ourselves and employ coping strategies to enable ourselves to continue this race. (see Blog #3 - H.O.P.E. )

Today I want to talk about meaning, purpose….. and affirmation .

A common symptom of poor mental health is the absence of meaning and purpose in someone’s life. Some say it’s the other way round - the absence of meaning and purpose can lead to mental ill-health.

For most of us, a sense of purpose gives meaning to life – it motivates us to plan ahead and helps us find meaning and value. It increases our self-worth and positive self-image.

Finding meaning and purpose

Finding meaning and purpose in life is recognised as a ‘protective factor’ to poor mental health. When we find meaning and purpose, we find HOPE (see Blog #3 - H.O.P.E. ) and when we find hope, we find peace, joy and calm….. and love - that may have faded away or been pushed to one side, makes an appearance again - that’s including loving yourself! We also experience patience, kindness and compassion for others. And begin to feel secure, composed and in control.

This can be especially true in suffering - Right now, during this Covid19 lockdown, we are suffering. Whether that is losing a loved one (See Blog #2 - Grief & Loss ), losing your job, a partner or just our liberty, to step out our front door and go somewhere; we are all suffering, and need to find meaning and purpose.

That’s why during this lockdown, so many are getting involved in the community and supporting the vulnerable with shopping and picking up prescriptions, or making scrubs for the NHS, creating music groups online, offering tutoring and education to our children and young people, or just looking out for our neighbours. All this is providing meaning and purpose.

Affirmation

However, meaning and purpose without affirmation can feel empty. Don't get me wrong here, I not saying we are doing these things to get recognition. Some acknowledgement o affirmation you are doing a good job is what all humans require. I’m not talking about an award or honour (although these are good and healthy too at the right time); I’m talking about a pat on the back, a nod of the head, a simple thank you or just "you're doing a great job”, all help with human connection and self-worth.

We all need affirmation to varying degree to enable us to find meaning and purpose.

Beyond lockdown

During this lockdown and the months ahead, we need to find meaning and purpose and affirmation in our everyday lives.

Here are 7 factors I have found that promote meaning and purpose in life:

Relationships .
Try and make sure value and preserve relationships with those close to you.
Physically.
Taking care of your body whilst using stress-reduction techniques and building mental resilience is not only good for us physically, it is good for our mental health too.
Surround Yourself with Positive People .
This is not always possible during lockdown. However, although not ideal, it can be done over the internet, and by listening to positive messages, talks and blogs etc.
Strike up conversations with 'new' people.
I have noticed during the lockdown, how people are more likely to say hello as they pass you in the street or want to start a conversation whilst waiting on the shopping queue.

Resist the urge to get on your phone or social media when you are out and about. Instead, take the time to talk to the people around you. You might discover new activities or places to visit or things going on in your community. And those activities might be key to helping you find your meaning and purpose.
Belonging, recognition and affirmation.
Being part of something where we feel valued, appreciated and validated. Get involved in your local community - volunteer with a youth club, food bank, sports club, church group etc. These all being meaning and purpose into our lives.
Helping others is not only good for our mental health and well-being, it cultivates meaning, purpose and affirmation.
Activities & Passions.
Do things that make us feel good – What gets you exited, what are the passions in your life, what have you always wanted to do? hobbies, interests and spending time with family and friends. Find a goal.
Spirituality .
Find a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, through nature, prayer, meditation, and reflection. This can be through a local church or group or on your own. It has been well documented, that connecting with others with a similar belief is great for our well-being.

If you are wanting to know more about this or explore what this means to you, please get in touch. Talking with a qualified councillor or coach can help you discover your passions to develop an effective plan to find meaning and purpose. Although this can also be achieved to a certain extent with a trusted friend or family member.

So, I want to challenge you today, to find your passion.
You are significant.
We are all in the marathon together, try and employee the skills above and see how having meaning, purpose and affirmation can transform your life.

Together we can win this race.

Thank you for reading. Please look out for future BLOGS and articles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being.

www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

You can find the other Blogs in this series below (Mental Health Awareness Week - May 2020)

Blog #3 - Mental Health Awareness Week May 2020 - HOPE

Wed, 20 May 2020 12:17:50 GMT

This blog has been taken from the talk ‘Dare to Hope’ by Graham Foxwell of Cedar Tree Mental Health and Well-being. It is used in the Cedar Tree Mental Health Awareness course.

I hope you are all well and keeping safe, we are in strange times right now, aren’t we? And more so than ever… we need to look after our Mental health those around us – family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues and those we are caring for.

Today I'm going to share some thoughts about Mental Health. But more importantly about HOPE. To give hope to those who are experiencing poor mental health themselves, or to those who are supporting someone, possibly a loved one with poor mental health.

This isn't just about ‘other people’ with mental ill-health, or the loved ones we may be caring for. This is also about YOU! The friend, parent, carer, or sibling of someone who is experiencing mental ill health - it’s about YOU, and your Mental Health too! I want you to understand that looking after your mental health is important too.

We need to look after yourselves, if we are going to be able to look after anyone else

Imagine you're on an aeroplane, heading off somewhere sunny. Hmmm that would be great right now wouldn’t it ��. You're looking forward to sitting on the beach with your ice-cold drink! You have your 2.4 children sitting next to you. When the plane suddenly starts to descend, and the air pressure drops.

What happens next? The oxygen masks drop down.

What do the cabin crew say is the 1st thing you should do? Put on your own mask, before helping others; before helping your 2.4 children.

Why? Because without it, you are no good to your 2.4 children. Without it, you are going to pass out! No good to anyone! We need to look after yourselves, if we are going to be able to look after anyone else!

Perhaps you’ve been struggling on for months, years, or even decades - waiting for someone to pick you up and dust you off and say it’s going to be ok…! Well, if you are in this place, I can tell you from experience, there is HOPE to be found.

When we choose to believe and understand, that the circumstances we find ourselves in may not change, but we cling to HOPE ; we start to believe and know and experience life better. We can let go of a desire to be safe and trouble free, HOPE sets in and recovery starts.

When we ‘let go’ of the stuff causing us pain - the emotional, physical, and mental stuff, Our “resilience” expands and hope takes over! We begin to have, Peace, Joy and Calm in our lives. And love - that may have faded or been pushed to one side emerges. Including being able to love yourself. We also experience, patience, kindness and compassion. We feel secure, composed and in control. We have…….. HOPE .

So where can we find HOPE ? Well that is different for everyone. I've taken the word HOPE and created an acronym to give you some helpful tools, strategies and coping to find that HOPE .

H = Help & Support

This can come from many places and can be eitherprofessional or personal.

We can seek help and support from:

Friends, family, neighbours and local community.
Spiritually. Many people, including me, find great support and comfort from having a strong faith. If this is something you are not accustomed too, or have been put off in the past, I urge you to explore the idea.
Your Doctor/GP. (Also ask about social prescribers and link workers).
Your workplace… Talk to your boss / work colleagues. Some companies have Mental health first aiders who are trained to help, support and signpost employees who are experiencing poor mental health. (my organisation Cedar Tree mhw train people in Mental Health First Aid and other mental health learning). Some companies have an EAP - (Employment Assistance Program) these can be used to support you and sometimes you family with Mental Health issues.
Self-help books, Apps, websites. There are 100’s of Mental Health support Organisations - Samaritans, MIND , CALM , Mates in Mind , Time to Change , Charlie Waller , Students against Depression , Papyrus , Young Minds etc. Stick to reputable organisations.
Support Groups. There are 100’s of local organisations, charities, mental health support groups, drop in & well-being centres and online groups. Again, please only use recognised, well known organisations.
NHS Talking Therapies /CAMHS/ - NHS funded services providing evidence-based psychological therapies to people with anxiety disorders and depression. These services can be accessed by anyone, but are primarily for adults. CAMHS are the usual access point for young people. You can find your local Talking Therapies service by looking them up on the internet here . Recovery College and other Talking therapies may also be available in your area, do get in touch if you need help finding support

O = Open yourself up to new ideas

Trying new things

Learning affects our well-being in lots of positive ways.
It helps us stay curious and engaged.
Good for exercising our brains
It gives us a sense of accomplishment, boosting self-confidence and resilience.

We can do this by sharing our skills, joining a club, learning to sing, dance, enjoy art, photography much more. By trying new things we start to build & create relationships - (according to research - the most important overall contributor to happiness. People with strong and wide social groups are happier, healthier and live longer)

Exercising

Why not take up a new sport? Our body and mind are connected. It is well known, that being active makes us happier, as well as being good for our physical health. It is also a very good treatment for all kinds of mental ill-health, from Depression to Anxiety to OCD, and more.

Caring for others

Helping other people is not only good for them, and a nice thing to do, it also makes us happier and healthier. We can give our time, ideas and energy, and money. So get out and volunteer - with a local charity or club!

P = Positivity & Purpose

You can generate positivity in your life through:

Acceptance

We need to accept that recovery is a process and doesn’t happen quickly. We need to accept we are not perfect. No-one is perfect, so why should you be? How often do we compare ourselves to others. We need look at the stuff we are good at and stop dwelling on what we are not or be grateful for what we have and not what we don’t. Learning to accept ourselves, warts and all, and being kinder to ourselves when things go wrong will increase our enjoyment of life, our resilience and our well-being. It is also good to accept others are not perfect too and to accept them as they are.

Positive emotions

Like joy, gratitude, contentment, inspiration and pride, are not just great at the time; Research shows that regularly experiencing positive emotions, creates an 'upward spiral', helping us to build our resilience. Although we need to be realistic about life's ups and downs it helps to focus on the good aspects of any situation.

Meaning, purpose and direction

People who have meaning and purpose in their lives are happier, feel more in control and get more out of what they do. They also experience less stress, anxiety and depression.

Resilience

All of us have times of stress, loss, failure or trauma in our lives. But how we respond to these has a big impact on our well-being. Recent research shows - resilience, like many other life skills, can be learnt, through therapy, support groups and training.

Let go

Sometimes we need to go of a desire to be safe and trouble free. Let go of the stuff causing us pain. The emotional, physical, and mental stuff. And through the letting go, Peace, Joy, Calm and Love take over.

E = Encourage

If you are experiencing poor mental health right now, I Encourage you to do all of the H.O.P.E.

I encourage you to Seek Help & Support
I encourage you to Open yourself up to new ideas
I encourage you to be Positive & find Purpose
And I Encourage YOU to TALK.

DON'T try and just 'deal with it' or hold it in, TALK. I promise you; it does help. Maybe not straight away, as sometimes it takes time, but it will help. You may have to try different things before it works - you may have already seen a counsellor and thought, that was rubbish! Well I encourage to try another one….. Why should the first one we see be the perfect one? Keep trying.

Supporting someone....

If you are supporting someone, who is experiencing mental health ill health, I encourage you to Listen - Don’t be afraid to just listen - listening the most powerful tool in helping and supporting someone experiencing mental health ill health. Don’t try and fix their problems, just listen and try to understand. Even though everything within us is saying we should fix this. We can’t. Just Listen!

So, that is H.O.P.E. in a nutshell.

Seek Help & Support
Open yourself up to new ideas
Positive & find Purpose
Encourage each other

So what is YOUR Hope?

Find your HOPE and cling to it with all of your might. Dare to Hope

We can either can stay in our pit of misery and pain, paralysed by fear - or we can HOPE and experience recovery.

Don’t let the little voice inside tell you you’re not good enough, you’re rubbish, you’ll never make it. It’s not true. You are good enough; you are worth it and you will make it.

And just remember - You might be that HOPE to someone else!

Thank you for reading this blog and I hope you have you have found some HOPE from it. Please look out for future BLOGS and articles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being. www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

Thank you for reading. Please look out for future BLOGS and articles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being.

www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

You can find the other Blogs in this series below (Mental Health Awareness Week - May 2020)

If you would like some more information about what we do, click here - HOME - Training - Services

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Some of the material for H.O.P.E. has been derived from the 10 keys to a happier living by Action for happiness .

Blog #2 - Mental Health Awareness Week May 2020 - Grief & Loss

Tue, 19 May 2020 15:02:47 GMT

Our 2nd post during Mental Health Awareness Week - Grief & Loss

Having lost a dear friend to the Covid19 virus this week, I would like to dedicate this to him. I wont name him on here right now in respect to his family. But some of you who read this, will know.

He was a ‘salt of the earth’ type of guy, who was liked by everyone. He was a work colleague who I valued as a friend very much.

“Rest in Peace my Friend - you made a significant impact on my life and I will remember you. You will be greatly missed by family, friends and co-workers.”

We all have grief and loss in our lives. This can be from a loss of a valued friend or relative or even a pet, to the loss of a job, home, partner (separation), physical or mental health and more. Loss is….. Loss, and therefore there is grief from loss.

There is a theory developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004) , who states we go through 5 stages of grief and loss (from her Book: On Death and Dying - 1969) :
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance.

People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. But the stages are experienced by people from all walks of life, across the world and all cultures.

Grief occurs in response to an individuals own loss of something valued, precious, or beloved. A scent, a sound, a smell, a taste can all trigger the grief response. We all will spend different lengths of time going through each step. Don’t be hard on yourself or the person grieving, as will experience each stage differently.

Realising this COVID19 is not going to pass by quickly, we are all going to experience loss at some point.

Sometimes the death of a loved one might move you to evaluate your own feelings of life and death. But throughout each stage, a common thread of HOPE emerges. Those who know me, know HOPE is one of my favourite words and is the underlying message of my Company Cedar Tree Mental Health and Well-being ; which is “ There is HOPE to be found ”.

As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life. (Stephen Hawking)

A really important thing to understand is; everyone grieves differently. Some people and cultures are very outwardly emotional, and others will experience their grief more internally.

Emotional outward grief I believe will improve the passage of grief and enhance recovery, but we should not judge how a person experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently.

The 5 Stages of Grief and loss according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross are:

1. Denial

In this stage, there is utter disbelief, and questioning thoughts. We are engulfed by feelings of shock and devastation. We struggle to make sense of events and feeling numb is normal. It can feel like our world has become meaningless and life is overwhelming. Trying to get through each day can feel impossible.

However, at this stage denial and shock can be positive and offer benefits, it allows us to put a sense of distance between us and the enormity of the loss: Because we are not yet fully in touch with these emotions, this distance, makes it easier to pace our feelings of grief.

It is a defence mechanism that allows our brains to handle the situation and dispose of stuff we don’t need right now. It serves to protect us, as the reality of the loss is accepted, and we begin the healing process.

As mentioned earlier, stages do not necessarily run consecutively, and you may not pass through them all. When the denial stage starts to fade, the feelings that were initially denied may begin to re-emerge, and you may find yourself being faced by the devastating pain that lies beneath.

2. Anger

Anger is a normal, natural, and positive part of the grieving and healing process. It is not always part of everyone's experience, and some people feel uncomfortable with feeling anger.

However, being willing to feel our anger and not deny it, even though it may be extremely intense, is an essential and cathartic part of this stage. The more you allow yourself to feel anger within a safe environment, the more it can be released and processed.

There is a positive side of anger. It is that it enables us to channel energy and helps to make some sense of our pain.

At times this may feel easier than feeling the feelings behind it. When we experience a loss, we may have every right to be angry. Even if it sometimes, feels like it lacks justice or logic. The feelings that we feel are neither wrong or right, good, or bad. They are what they are. Let them come and go.

3. Bargaining

In this stage it can feel like we are navigating through a maze of regret and sorrowful thoughts.

And Guilt shows its head!

“What if I…” or “if only we had…" statements run in a circular fashion in our minds. Of course, we would give anything to have our loved one back. Some of us wish we had a time machine and want to go back in time and do things differently to change the outcome… If only.

At this point it's important to exercise self-compassion, and understand, we cannot change the past.

4. Depression

This stage forces us to focus on the present, it confirms that there is nothing that can be done to alter the permanence of the loss. This stage differs from a clinical or GP’s diagnosis of depression and it's not a sign of illness. The overwhelming sadness is a natural and normal response to a huge loss.

It represents the emptiness we feel when we are living in reality and realise that our loved one is never coming back.

In this stage, withdrawing socially and from life in general, feeling numb or feeling as if you are living in a fog is common.

Facing the outside world might seem too much to manage. Avoiding others and feeling hopeless and fearful is typical of this stage. When loss finally sets in, depression is a natural phase to prepare us to accept the unacceptable.

5. Acceptance

At first, acceptance might simply mean more good days than bad ones, or perhaps an increased distance between their frequency.

Sometimes being able to remember more memories without the distressing emotions shows that we are taking steps towards acceptance. The final stage of the grieving process does not mean that we have to forgive, excuse what has happened or retreat back into denial.

There is no expectation to feel all right about the loss of a loved one.

This stage focuses on accepting the permanent reality that our loved one is physically gone. We will never like this reality or make it OK, but eventually we accept it. We learn to live with it. We need to learn and adjust to living our life where our loved one is missing.

Most people experience grief when they lose something or someone important to them. If these feelings are affecting your life, there are things you can try that may help.

Do

Try talking about your feelings to a friend, family member, health professional or counsellor – you could also contact a support organisation such as Cruse Bereavement Care or call: 0808 808 1677
Try H.O.P.E. These are 4 ways to feel happier, which are simple lifestyle changes that may help you feel more in control and able to cope. These can be found HERE in the Blog #3 of the Mental Health Awareness Blogs May 2020.
Speak to your GP who can signpost you to support.
Consider peer support, where people use their experiences to help each other. Find out more about peer support on the Mind website
Listen to free mental wellbeing audio guides .
Search and download relaxation and mindfulness apps or online community apps. Please be careful to only use reputable and trustworthy organisations such as Mind , The Samaritans , CALM etc.

Support is always available if you're finding it hard to cope with stress, anxiety or depression. A counsellor can also help to give extra support during this difficult time. The Counselling directory

Don't

Do not try to do everything at once – set small targets that you can easily achieve.
Do not focus on the things you cannot change – focus your time and energy into helping yourself feel better.
Try not to tell yourself that you're alone – most people feel grief after a loss and support is available.
Try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve grief – these can all contribute to poor mental health.

Thank you for reading. Please look out for future BLOGS andarticles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being. www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

Thank you for reading. Please look out for future BLOGS and articles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being.

www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

You can find the other Blogs in this series below (Mental Health Awareness Week - May 2020)

Excerpts, comments, and quotes drawn from: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, f rom her Book "On Death and Dying - 1969" - NHS England - The Counselling Directory – PhychCentral – VeryWellMind – Psychology today.

Blog #1 - Mental Health Awareness Week May 2020 - Intro

Mon, 18 May 2020 14:23:59 GMT

So, this week is Mental Health Awareness Week (18th – 24th May). It is good to highlight important subjects like our mental health with an awareness week, but the truth is, we all experience mental ill-health at some point in our lives. There are several statistics on this subject, but the lets go with the NHS one: 1 in 4 adults and 1 in 10 children are experiencing mental ill-health. That’s a lot of people struggling with mental ill-health right now.

We also need to understand that these statistics are based on recorded information or on people being diagnosed with mental ill-health; and we all know how bad we are at openly talking about our own mental health, so this is a bit of an “iceberg statistic”. i.e. these statistics are the tip of the iceberg and the real numbers of people experience poor mental health is the big bit underneath, that we can’t see.

With 54% of all work-related ill health cases due to mental ill-health* (Health & Safety Executive 2019) , and 17.5m workdays* lost to due mental ill health. (Office of National Statistics 2018) , Mental ill health conditions are the leading cause of sickness in the UK*. (Public Health England). According to Public health England e very year mental ill health cost the UK economy 70 billion. (Public Health England). So isn’t it about time we did something about it?

*This is also based on reported information, so you could apply the iceberg effect to this too.

With the current corona virus, these numbers are going to increase. The U.N. warns of a global mental health crisis due to COVID-19 pandemic . So, the UK and the rest of the world need to put in place support programs and networks to cope with this, just like the government and businesses have put in place for the physical side effects of the pandemic. Let’s not forget those who have been struggling with their mental ill-health for months or years, or those who are wrestling with it right now.

Over the next few days, I am going to try and share with you some of my thoughts, struggles and ideas. Please feel free to agree, comment, contribute or disagree with what I say. But let’s respect each other views and agree to disagree sometimes.

Tomorrow I’m going to try and talk about the difficult subject of grief. Many of us are grieving right now from losing friends, family and colleagues to this awful virus, as well as grief from being isolated, losing our freedom, losing a job, loss of financial stability, not being able to see partners, Family and friends and many more.

Thank you for reading

Kind regards
Graham Foxwell
Cedar Tree Mental Health and Well-being.

Thank you for reading. Please look out for future BLOGS and articles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being.

www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

You can find the other Blogs in this series below (Mental Health Awareness Week - May 2020)

For more information about the work & training do Graham Foxwell and Cedar Tree MHW do, please go to www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk

Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

My Thoughts on "The Abused" on Channel 5

Fri, 22 Feb 2019 16:28:50 GMT

It's not often I put my life out on social media BUT wow what a hard hitting documentary showing the reality of living with DA ( Domestic Abuse ) and how hard it is to escape DA. This programme has certainly struck a chord with me and took me back to a very vulnerable & dark time in my life.

Victims are at their most vulnerable once they have left the relationship & trying to rebuild some sort of normal life whilst still being constantly hounded, threatened, isolated or victimised by the perpetrator. Unless you have experienced DA you will never understand that it’s easier to stick with what you know rather than go out into the unknown alone.

it’s a positive to see that there is so much more support and aftercare for victims than when I had to fight my way out of a 9 year relationship in 2008 that was physical, verbal , coercive,controlling & financially abusive that left me emotionally and physically broken with 2 young babies.

They say on average there are 35 assaults before a victim calls the police, I had 20 incident reports from the police to add to court papers to gain a residency & non molestation order to protect us - just think how many incidents I didn’t reported to the police or any other organisation? ��

I wasn’t taken seriously at times and certain organisations were saying there wasn’t a lot they could do for me or what help was offered was very limited.

It very much felt like “you made your choice now you have to live with it”. I honestly believe if I hadn’t had fought as hard as I did I wouldn’t be here today.

Today most of the remaining scars are the hidden ones which I don’t think will ever leave me. I don’t have much in the way of materialistic items or cash to flash but what I do have is my 2 beautiful children , my husband who genuinely loves me for me and a few true friends some who I sadly don’t get to see enough, I have a job and my own money. I’m actually living a life I could never ever have imagined & to me that is everything.

If someone is suffering please please go and get help it’s so much better on the other side.

You can watch Channel 5 catch-up here if you missed it: https://www.channel5.com/show/the-abused/

#clareslaw #domesticabuse #survivor #livingmybestlife #dontjudgeabookbyitscover #hiddenscars

A short bio about Sarah Pitt:

Sarah Pitt is a Community Safety Officer - Education and Training.

My first job which was the stepping stone to my career today after leaving my DA relationship was volunteering once a week at V4Y. I met my ex when I was 16 and was very influenced and impressionable. Having experienced many other issues as well as abuse within my relationship I wanted to “give something back” to support or mentor young people so they hopefully never have to experience what I did. Volunteering led to me gaining my level 2 in youth work and into employment as Community Development, once this funded role ceased the opportunity came to develop my youth work further and my role changed to full time Education and Training covering a variety of PSHE topics to schools such as Body Image, Self Esteem, ASB, Drugs, Alcohol, Cyber Safety ,RSE, LGBT, bullying, Knife Crime and any emerging trends with the view that early intervention and awareness may prevent some young people from participating in certain issues.
I am a safeguarding lead across Rushmoor and Hart. I also offer training/awareness to staff and parent on current issues with young people.
Currently partnership working with local councillor and Community Development on building a youth forum which hopefully will expand into Hart.

I have worked with several young people on a1:1 basis whilst they are on a waiting list to access the correct support/organisation rather than leaving them in no-man's land.
I was the lead on a managing challenging behaviours programme where young people on the cusp of the Criminal Justice System would be referred to me and we would go on a journey looking at their current behaviours, what paths this could potentially lead them down and how and what support can be put in place to prevent this from happening.

I still carry on my youth work in a paid and volunteering capacity and I am also in my first year at University studying for my Personal Certificate in Education (PGCE).

9 suicide myths and facts we should know and recognise.

Mon, 10 Sep 2018 13:52:32 GMT

There are many common misconceptions about suicide that prevent us from talking to someone or recognising just how serious the problem of suicide is.

Here are 9 myths and facts we should know to recognise the warning signs and get help.

Myth - People who threaten suicide are just looking for attention.

Most people who have suicide ideation (thinking of taking their lives) hide it; especially from those close to them. However, a person who is talking about suicide needs to be listened to carefully and taken seriously.

If someone does mentions suicide, take them seriously and seek professional help immediately.
Myth - Asking someone if they think about suicide increases their risk.

Many people fear bringing up the subject of suicide, thinking it will somehow plant the seed. This is not true. Asking a direct question about suicide will not compel someone to kill themselves.

If someone is having suicidal thoughts and you ask them this direct question, they more likely feel safe in opening up and talking about it.
Myth - People who do not complete suicide were not serious.

A person who attempts suicide is trying to stop the pain and suffering they are feeling. People who make an attempt are at much higher risk of trying again. Their second attempt is much more likely to be fatal.
Myth - People who are suicidal, always act sad beforehand.

This is a very complex area. However, some people who take their own lives, may seem unexpectedly happy or “the life of the party” before taking their own lives. They may have a sudden change in mood from low to very high or just very calm.

Sometimes suicide may be a sudden response to a major stressful event.
Myth - People who complete suicide, spend a lot of time planning it.

The decision to take their own lives may be planned — but it could also be impulsive.

Suicide may feel like the best way to escape the pain. A person who has been humiliated, rejected, suffered loss, or subjected to bullying, for example, may think suicide is the only way out.
Myth - Suicide is rare.

Suicides don't usually make the news and many families try and keep suicide as private as possible. Therefore Most people aren't aware that it such a common problem.

Suicide remains the most common cause of death for men in the UK aged 20-49.

Men are roughly three times more likely to die from suicide then women. However, women are roughly three times more likely to attempt suicide.

People who struggle with their mental health and those who abuse substances are at high risk of taking their own life.
Myth - A suicide plan doesn't put a person at risk of following through.

A person with a specific plan for how, when and where to take their life is a person in danger. When a mental health professional assesses a person for suicide risk, meeting this criterion means the person is potentially in immediate danger and steps need to be taken to ensure safety.
Myth - A person with suicide ideation just wants to die.

Most people who have had suicide ideation report they didn’t actually want to die; they just wanted the pain they were feeling to go away. Their pain had exceeded their ability to cope.
Myth - People who take their own lives are selfish.

The suicidal mind is an altered state of consciousness. When a person is battling with their pain and feeling hopeless, their thinking is often significantly distorted. They do not see reality the way they would if they were not in suicidal crisis. Their thoughts loop on the theme of how they are a burden to those they love. Their brains actively make a case for how others will not really miss them or that in the long run, those they love would be better off without them somehow. Sometimes, those who are in the grips of the suicidal ideation often become mentally detached from those they love.

Useful info

Here is a list of National organisations that can provide support and information.

Samaritans

Telephone: 116 123 (24 hours a day, free to call)

Email: jo@samaritans.org

Website: www.samaritans.org

Provides confidential, non-judgemental emotional support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those that could lead to suicide. You can phone, email, write a letter or in most cases talk to someone face to face.

CALM

Telephone: 0800 58 58 58(5pm–midnight, 365 days a year)

Website: www.thecalmzone.net incl webchat

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is an award-winning charity dedicated to preventing male suicide, the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the UK. In 2015, 75% of all UK suicides were male.

Mates in Mind

Telephone: 020 3510 5018

Website: www.matesinmind.org/

Mates in Mind aims to raise awareness, address the stigma of poor mental health and promote positive mental well-being in construction and related industries across the UK.

We are led by and for industry in partnership with the Health in Construction Leadership Group and the British Safety Council, along with other leading organisations and charities such as Mind, Samaritans and Mental Health First Aid England.

Mates in Mind helps to make sense of available options and support for employers to address mental health within the workplace..

Mind Infoline

Telephone: 0300 123 3393 (9am-6pm Monday to Friday)

Email: info@mind.org.uk

Website: www.mind.org.uk/help/advice_lines

Mind provides confidential mental health information services.

With support and understanding, Mind enables people to make informed choices. The Infoline gives information on types of mental distress, where to get help, drug treatments, alternative therapies and advocacy. Mind has around 140 local Minds providing local mental health services.

Rethink Mental Illness Advice Line

Telephone: 0300 5000 927 (9.30am - 4pm Monday to Friday)

Email: info@rethink.org

Website: www.rethink.org/about-us/our-mental-health-advice

Provides expert advice and information to people with mental health problems and those who care for them, as well as giving help to health professionals, employers and staff. Rethink also runs Rethink services and groups across England and Northern Ireland.

Saneline

Telephone: 0300 304 7000 (4:30pm-10:30pm)

Website: www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline

Saneline is a national mental health helpline providing information and support to people with mental health problems and those who support them.

The Mix

Telephone: 0808 808 4994 (11am-11pm, free to call)

Website: www.themix.org.uk/get-support

The Mix provides judgement-free information and support to young people aged 13-25 on a range of issues including mental health problems. Young people can access the The Mix’s support via phone, email, peer to peer and counselling services.

ChildLine

Telephone: 0800 1111

Website: www.childline.org.uk

ChildLine is a private and confidential service for children and young people up to the age of nineteen. You can contact a ChildLine counsellor for free about anything - no problem is too big or too small.

Minds@Work

Website: www.mindsatworkmovement.com/

Minds@work's purpose is to inspire and equip individuals to eradicate the stigma of mental illness and create workplaces that are life-enhancing.

They stage free events to inspire, equip and fuel innovation through sharing and collaboration.

Charlie Waller Memorial Trust

Website: https://www.cwmt.org.uk/

Our vision is of a world where people understand and talk openly about depression, where young people know how to maintain well-being, and where the most appropriate treatment is available to everyone who needs it.

The Trust was set up in 1997 in memory of Charlie Waller, a young man who took his own life whilst suffering from depression. Shortly after his death, his family founded the Trust in order to educate young people on the importance of staying mentally well and how to do so..

Elefriends

Website: http://elefriends.org.uk/

Elefriends is a supportive online community where you can be yourself. Elefriends is run by Mind.

If you’re a carer needing support you can contact all of the above as well as Carers Direct and the Princess Royal Trust for Carers, both of whom are able to provide support and advice on any issues affecting you.

Men's Sheds association

Website: https://menssheds.org.uk/

We are UK Men’s Sheds Association, the support body for Men’s Sheds across the UK. We work hard to inspire and support the development of as many Men’s Sheds as possible, for the benefit of men’s health and well-being. We are a member organisation, representing UK-based Men’s Sheds. We raise awareness of the Men’s Sheds movement and the many benefits of Shedding and we support Men’s Sheds in getting off the ground and thriving as community-driven, member-led entities. We don’t own or manage Men’s Sheds, but we champion them for miles around.

Our mission is to enable access to a Men’s Shed for every man that would benefit from one and we won’t stop until we’ve achieved it.

Cedar Tree provide consultancy, advice and training to managers, employees, groups, teachers and individuals on how develop the skills to look after our own and others’ well-being. At "Cedar Tree we want to eliminate the stigma surrounding poor mental health and normalise society's attitudes and behaviours towards it, by illustrating how a person can have good well-being whilst experiencing poor mental health"

There is Hope to be found.

www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk #cedartreemhw

When baby arrives....

Fri, 24 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT

I’ve been speaking with several young men in the early years of their marriages, and while it’s not surprising, it is disheartening to see how many are struggling, especially when children come into the picture.

The arrival of a baby brings significant changes to a relationship. Some of these changes are positive, while others can be challenging. The demands of caring for a new baby can sometimes overshadow the loving, exciting, and romantic relationship you once had.

While this isn’t the case for everyone, it is often the mother who takes on the majority of the day-to-day responsibilities of caring for the child. The demands placed on her can be immense and sometimes overwhelming.

The phrase “two’s company, three’s a crowd” often comes to mind. As a father and partner, you might feel unnecessary, inadequate, or pushed aside, only being called upon for tasks and errands.

You may also feel that your partner has fallen out of love with you and no longer needs or wants you. This, combined with a lack of sleep, potential financial issues, and little to no intimacy, can leave you questioning your place in the relationship. Routines may fall apart, communication can become scarce, and you might lose touch with friends and extended family.

If this resonates with you, let me assure you that what you’re experiencing is normal, and you can get through this. Many people go through similar challenges to varying degrees.

I have been married 30+ years. I have two grown-up daughters and six grandchildren. And yes, I also went through these feelings of inadequacy, failure, feeling unloved, and many other emotions during the early years of my kids, and a bit later on in their growing up. But I love my wife, kids, and grandchildren more than ever, and would not wish it any other way.

The difficulties of being a mother

While I could write extensively about the difficulties of being a mother, this blog is focused on men. However, it’s important to acknowledge that becoming a new mother takes a massive emotional, physical, and mental toll on your partner. Caring for a completely dependent human being is a significant responsibility, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed.

Feelings of helplessness and frustration can set in, leading to depression, anger, and a desire to escape. At this point, some men might turn to work, sports, friends, or more harmful outlets like alcohol, drugs, gambling, or affairs to meet their needs and desires.

These challenges can be even more difficult if there are medical issues with the baby or if your partner is suffering from postnatal depression.

What You Can Do?

As I said before, this is normal and will get better. It is unlikely your partner has fallen out of love with you; she simply has to prioritise the baby. This is an involuntary, natural response and part of the mother instinct. This doesn’t mean that men don’t love or prioritize their children, but the experience can be different.

Negotiating your roles and sharing expectations is crucial for parenting as a team and maintaining a strong relationship. Recognise that these changes will happen, and use the pregnancy period to discuss and plan who will handle various responsibilities once the baby arrives. It’s also important to remain flexible and review your plans periodically, as life will continue to change as your baby grows.

If you’re feeling depressed or angry, seek help from a doctor, counsellor, or friend. If you don’t have access to these resources, please reach out to us, and we will do our best to assist you. There are many organisations able to listen and provide support.

Things may not always turn out as planned, and you and your partner might separate, which brings its own set of challenges. However, you can still navigate this period positively, creating good and happy memories of your child’s early years.

Finally, remember that these feelings are normal, and life will get better. Parenting can be tough, but it is also one of the most rewarding experiences in the world.

Some interesting articles on this subject.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1185021/Daddy-blues-Two-thirds-fathers-feel-left-family-life.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1376681/I-resent-children-stealing-wifes-love.html

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/relationships-after-a-baby.aspx

http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/advice/youll-probably-want-a-divorce-after-you-have-a-baby-its-normal/

2am friend

Fri, 24 Jul 2015 00:00:00 GMT

How it all started

This was a question on the radio a couple of weeks ago. Who’s is your 2am friend?

The other day I was discussing this with some of the guys at the Pub.

As I went up to the bar, I received a call from a friend whose life was falling apart and he needed someone to talk to. I went outside and we spent about half an hour chatting. By the end of the conversation he was feeling much better and able to cope more with the situation he found himself in.

The next day we met for lunch and things were still bad, but he was dealing with it much better.

So I was thinking...... just imagine if he had no one to call at that very moment when everything seemed to be crashing to the ground.

We know from the statistics I’ve already mentioned in my blogs - the consequence of situations like this for Men can be very

serious and devastating.

What is a 2am friend?

Let’s start with - what is a 2am friend?

A 2am friend, is that friend you are able to call at any time - 2am, 2pm, 12am, 8pm…. Anytime. A friend that will come to your aid at a moments notice.

These days, we seem to be too busy to be that 2am friend. We can all say, ‘just call if you need me’ and ‘let me know if I can be of help’ .

But do we really mean that, when we are called at 2 in the morning, to get out of bed and go to a friend in need? Even though we have to get up for work at 6am the next day, and have had a hard few weeks ourselves?

How far will we go for someone else, even if they call us their 2am friend, but they may not be yours?

Who is your 2am friend?

Literally today as I was writing this, I received a message from a friend in need. Was I going to be phoney in my response, or be true to my word. “ I am there for you my friend ”.

Do you have a 2am friend or friends?

As I said before, blokes are rubbish at talking. We will avoid emotional situations at all costs. We won’t phone someone up, because we don’t know what to say. Well say that “ I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you if you need a friend ”, offer practical things like a lift somewhere, a beer, a coffee, or just someone for them to shout at and get whatever pain they are going through right then, out!

And if you really are someone’s 2am friend, be prepared to get up at 2am and go fix a flat tyre, pick them up off the pavement when they’ve had mental breakdown, pick them up from the police station, or just need a friend.

The Science bit……

Did you know?

It is a known fact helping others will actually make you feel better:

Giving back has a physical and mental effect on your body.
Helping others will actually make You feel great.
People who volunteered and donated to charity, trigger the mesolimbic system - which is the ‘reward’ pathway in your brain.
This also releases feel-good chemicals and spurs you to perform more kindly acts.
Charitable activities lowered your stress.
Helping others can teach you to help yourself.
People who volunteer have been found to have higher self-esteem and overall well-being.
People who participate in volunteer work feel more empowered than those who do not.
People who volunteered over the last 12 months said volunteering enriches their sense of purpose.
People who volunteered are more calm and peaceful than people who didn’t.
Volunteering is a great way to promote a deeper sense of gratitude as we recognise more of what is already a blessing/gift/positive in our lives.
Helping others will also spur them to 'Pay Forward" and keep the cycle of happiness going.

“Be a man”...... “Grow some”

I’m not keen on the challenge to “Be a man” or “Grow some” when a guy is going through some tough times.
But I would say to you, if you really want to “Be a Man” and “Grow Some”, be that 2am friend….. for real!

What If I don't have a 2am friend?

If you don't have anyone right now you can call or trust to be your 2am friend.... that's OK and normal. Most people are in the same position.

If you don't have any close ' 2am friends ' right now, think about joining a local group, club, sports club, voluntary organisation or faith group, and start to build up new friendships. And remember, helping others will actually make you feel better .

Think about the friends you currently have - are right for you and do they value you? You may need to make new relationships with people who do value and care about you. This doesn't mean you have to go round dropping friendships and telling them your not their friend anymore; It just means, finding new and valued friendships.

Last of all - a 2am friend can also be the many fantastic services out there, that provide 24hr support. See below or click on these links. - The Samaritans , CALM and SHOUT .

Please don't hold it in if you are struggling right now, speak to someone..... to your 2am friend or your GP , the NHS or one of the services above.

If you want to learn how to be a 2am friend, why not train as a Mental Health First Aider or become more aware about mental ill-health . please click HERE for more details.

Thank you for reading

Please share this article or drop us a line.
Look after yourself.

Navigating Modern Life's Challenges for Men

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Life for Many Men These Days... .

For many men today, navigating modern life’s challenges can feel overwhelming and, at times, insurmountable. Sometimes it feels like life goes something like this:

You leave school, college, or university, find a partner, move in together (maybe get married), get a job, have kids, and move away from where you grew up—or at least lose regular contact with your mates. This marks the beginning of a new way of living—what some might call "A New Life."

New Life

In this new life, the days blur together in a routine: get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, repeat. After a few years, this becomes the norm, with perhaps a bit of sport, family time, and socialising in between. In some cases, work becomes your surrogate family, and your real family becomes a distant part of your life, especially when a new baby arrives with its own set of challenges.. ( See Blog When baby arrives )

Crisis hits

Eventually, crisis hits. It might be a breakup with your partner (and the kids), loss of friendship groups, illness, the loss of a loved one, or job loss. The list goes on.

When this ‘new life’ begins to unravel, you might find yourself with no one to turn to. Isolation and detachment from family and friends become more apparent. Your mates are likely in the same situation or have moved away with their own families. You feel alone. It’s possible to have many friends, business colleagues, and family around you and still feel profoundly lonely. And, being a bloke, we don’t talk about it.

The Silence

This silence can create tension in personal and business relationships, leading to identity crises, feelings of loneliness, and isolation. This often escalates to depression, anxiety, grief, stress, and poor mental health.

If ignored, these issues can lead to harmful coping strategies, such as alcoholism, drug use, and self-harm, which further affect physical and mental health. Symptoms of anxiety and depression can sometimes lead to suicidal thoughts and actions.

So lets talk!

If any of this resonates with you, or you know someone who feels this way, remember: you are not alone. You are not the only person who feels like this, and life can and will get better.

Join the Conversation

Breaking the cycle starts with a conversation. Let's talk, share, and support each other in navigating these challenges. Together, we can create a supportive community where no one feels alone in their struggles.

#MensHealth #MentalHealth #Support #Community #Talk #YouAreNotAlone #BreakTheSilence #Resilience #ModernLifeChallenges #MentalWellbeing

Need support right now?

If you need to talk right now or feel you need specialist help, please contact the CALM Zone

https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/

The Samaritans at

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you

There are also lots of places you can go to for help, here are some of them:

https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/links

Get in Touch?

If would like to talk with us - Get in touch !

Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being - Blogs

Find Your Tribe!

Find Your Tribe!

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

Stress Awareness Month

Stress Awareness Month: When Pressure Helps Us Grow and When It Holds Us Back

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

Your Job Is Not to Change the World…

Your Job Is Not to Change the World… Your Job Is to Change Someone’s World

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

Taking care of yourself and others during the Festive Season

Taking care of yourself and others during the Festive Season ﻿

Places of support in the UK:

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

Winter is coming!

Winter is coming!

How the season can affect us

What to notice in yourself

| If a couple of these show up for a few days, do a quick check, in with yourself. If they’re still there after two weeks or feel intense, reach out for support.

What to notice in others

| Trust your gut, you don’t need to be a Dr to notice a change that matters.

How to reach out

| If someone talks about harming themselves or seems in immediate danger, stay with them if you can and get urgent help.

How to ask for help

| Most people feel better with the right support and small changes add up.

Three simple actions for this winter

Today is a nudge to treat mental health as important, just like physical health. If you liked this, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Take care of yourself and those around you.

Six places of support in the UK:

Please feel free to add your comments and share.

Graham

Behind Every Person You meet, There’s a Story….

It’s complicated

The Neurodiversity layer

Judgement is human

In Conclusion - Be Kind

Counteracting Toxic Masculinity: Empowering the Next Generation of Positive Men

A Multi-Pronged Approach to Positive Masculinity

1. Revamp Education and Media Literacy

2. Cultivate Positive Role Models and Mentorship

3. Strengthen Family and Community Bonds

4. Reform Digital Spaces and Public Discourse

5. Prioritise Mental Health and Well-Being

In Conclusion

Accepting and Embracing Our Weirdness: Celebrating Our True Selves, Warts and All

Kintsugi: Embracing Beauty in Brokenness

The Unseen Struggles: Imposter Syndrome and the Masks We Wear

On a personal note....

Seeking professional guidance through Counselling, Coaching, and Training

Conclusion

Vulnerability & Steadfast Strength: Are They Two Competing Forces?

John's Story: A Journey from Isolation to Connection .

A New Understanding of Strength

The Silent Battle: Overcoming the Stigma of Sharing

The Call to Action: Pushing Past Limits and Cultivating Resilience

Understanding When to Push and When to Pause

Takeaway

Reflect and Discuss:

Conclusion:

Discovering Life's Journey: Finding Fulfilment Beyond Happiness

If I this happens I will be happy, if I doesn’t, I won’t.

Peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Gratitude

Embracing the Power of Diversity!

Understanding the Struggle

Mental Health: Breaking the Silence

Wellbeing: The Subjective Spectrum

Neurodiversity: Valuing Different Perspectives

Steps Towards Acceptance

Education and Awareness:

Empathy and Compassion:

Inclusive Practices:

Challenging Stigma:

Personal Reflection:

The Power of Compassion and Kindness

Conclusion

The Growing Mental Health Crisis: A Call for Open Conversation, Enhanced Support and Understanding.

Taking care of yourself and others during the Festive Season