Behind Every Person You meet, There’s a Story….

I came across a post recently that stopped me in my tracks, about how easily we misread people. It reminded me of just how quick we are to form lasting impressions… without truly knowing what someone might be living through.

There are traits I recognise in myself, traits that, from the outside, could be confusing, contradictory, or even off-putting: Do any resonate with you?

• I appear confident but question myself constantly.
• I’m patient but often come across as stubborn.
• I care deeply but can come across as distant.
• I’m naturally empathetic, yet I sometimes need to keep people at arm’s length.
• I speak up for others’ needs yet sometimes can’t respond through feeling overwhelmed.
• I light up around people and love a good party, but I also need time alone, and worry I’ll miss something when I step away.
• I’m calm in crisis, but anxious everyday.
• I have emotional intelligence yet find it hard to recognise and regulate my reactions.
• I want to be different and not follow the crowd, but quietly fear being misread or misunderstood. (Maybe one of the reasons for writing this blog!).
• I’m well educated and understand mental health deeply, yet struggle sometimes to manage my own emotional wellbeing.
• I may come across distant and sad, when I’m actually fine and just need space and time with my thoughts.

There are many more and I’m sure you can add many of your own.

It’s complicated

Sometimes we wear a mask to get through the day, and most people never see what’s underneath.

The Neurodiversity layer

Being neurodiverse adds an extra layer of complexity to how I and other are perceived.

It shapes the way I experience the world and the way others experience me - my timing, my tone, my habits. The result? Misunderstandings. Assumptions. Judgements. And sadly, missed connections with people who might otherwise see the real me.

Judgement is human

It’s wired into us, evolved over thousands of years as a way to stay safe. When we meet someone new, our brains instantly scan for signals: safe or unsafe? Same or unfamiliar?

But this built-in protection mechanism can also become a barrier. We can be quick to label. Quick to withdraw. Quick to misunderstand those who don't walk, talk, look, think, react, behave, believe, understand or have the same values as us. There’s always more happening beneath the surface.

In Conclusion - Be Kind

So let’s slow down. Let’s get curious instead of critical.

Let’s welcome people who don’t walk our walk, because what shaped them might be something we’ve never had to face.

Let’s show kindness. Exercise patience. Extend grace. And build the kind of world we’d all feel safe being seen in.

Thanks for reading, I'd truly love to hear your thoughts. If this resonates, feel free to share, comment, or start a conversation.

Graham

NOTE: Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf

#Neurodiversity #InclusionMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #Misunderstood #CompassionOverJudgement #KindnessFirst #EmotionalIntelligence #InvisibleStruggles #Authenticity #UnderstandingPeople #WalkAndTalk #BeTheDifference #EmpathyInAction #HumanConnection

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